Marriage Reunited

Chapter Four

By the next morning Lilly was starting to get used to her lack of sleep. Despite being exhausted she had found herself lying awake long after she had gone to bed her head spinning with all the thoughts going round. Eventually she fell in to a fitful sleep but she woke early with a pounding head and a sick feeling in her stomach. Dragging herself up she showered quickly and stared in to the mirror unable to believe how ill she looked. Her face was so pale it was practically white and slight bruises showed beneath her eyes where the lack of sleep had taken its toll. Running a hand through her damp hair she returned to her room to choose an outfit while wishing that this sick feeling would disappear.

            Choosing an outfit proved harder than she had thought. What did one wear when being blackmailed back in to their husband’s bed? All her dresses while having the added effect of making her look more attractive also made it look like she was making an effort for his benefit which she definitely didn’t want him thinking. Her normal attire of jeans and a top seemed too relaxed as though she were making a statement that she wasn’t going to change for him. While that was certainly true she didn’t want him thinking that he bothered her so much that she had to make a statement. What she needed was something neutral that made her seem indifferent to him and unconcerned about moving back in to his home.

            Having finally decided on black trousers and a casual red top she paired it with black shoes and made her way downstairs. Melissa was still asleep and she was too edgy to relax though she gave it a good go as she turned on the TV and tried to lose herself in one of her favourite shows. It didn’t work and she worried her lower lip with her teeth as she tried to forget that this would be her last morning to herself.

            She had called her mother the day before and told her that she had found a way to pay off their debt. While relieved her mother couldn’t help but be suspicious when she found out that Lilly had decided to move back in with Connor. She had refused to accept the money if that was the only reason that Lilly was going back to him and so Lilly had done the only thing she could. She had lied. She had told her mother than Connor had agreed to give her the money but that after seeing him again she had realised how much she missed him and they had decided to give their marriage another go. Although her mother had been sceptical at first she had finally come round and now believed that Lilly really was in love with her husband again. It probably helped that her mother hadn’t known exactly what happened between them. She had known that they had lost a child and had thought that was what had driven them apart. Lilly was too ashamed to tell anyone about Alexis.

            She felt more alone than ever now. She couldn’t confide in anyone about Connor or her worries about being back there with him. Even Angelica believed that she was going back to him because she loved him. It was almost too easy to fool people in to believing that this was her choice when the truth was she was terrified of going back to him.

            The day passed in a blur as she tried to keep Melissa entertained while she let people in to pack away her life and ship it off somewhere else. By the time the car arrived she was too worn out to be worried and she kept a faint smile in place as Melissa bounced around in excitement.

            Too soon they were there and Lilly stared up at the large house with some trepidation as memories assailed her. It would have strengthened her resolve if all the memories had been bad but the problem was that they hadn’t been. Nearly all her memories from this house had been good. From lazy days in bed making love to her husband to the laughing arguments they’d had over what music to listen to. It made her long for those days to be back and she wished she could forget the betrayal and simply go back to the way things were. It was that sort of thinking that was dangerous to her heart and she steeled herself before opening the door and helping Melissa out first.