Shelter

Chapter Three

          I heard a knock as the guy pushed me into a closet. His face felt so familiar but I couldn't remember why. A girl was next to me who looked like Kim she looked smaller. Her hair was straighter and much longer. "You need to stay here okay? Don't get out until I tell you to, understood? Tiara, are you listening? You need to keep Kimani quiet too. Keep each other safe." He said before closing the door.
          It was dark inside and I felt the walls closing in. Kimani was whimpering and I kept shushing her as quietly as I could. I found her hand in the darkness and held on to it as tightly as I could. I could actually feel my fingers going numb.
         I could hear voices below us and I felt more scared. When the door finally opened it wasn't the same guy. This guy was older and angry looking. Without a word he shot is both.
         I sat up completely straight when I felt a hand touch my leg. Jared was watching me with concern. I looked outside to see that it was day but the truck was pretty quiet. It must still be pretty early. Jared touched my cheek with his thumb and I stiffened. Sure I was becoming fond of him but not enough for me to be comfortable with him touching me. He removed his thumb and looked away as though offended.
          "You were crying in your sleep." I touched my cheek and felt the tears. Using my sleeve I wiped them away. I never cried before. At least not as far as I could remember. And I've never been able to remember a dream before. Even so the dream replayed in my mind over and over again. The silence in the care didn't help much. I felt colder than I had earlier, as though it was impossible to get warmer. Who was the guy who put me in the closet and why would he do that? I didn't recognize him but he felt so achingly familiar. So trustworthy. Needing a distraction I turned to Jared.
          "Why black?" I asked, remembering his answer to my color question. He glanced at me then back at the road.
          "I don't know. It just reminds me of my brother." He hesitated but after almost three minutes he continued. "When I was younger I got scared a lot but my brother always calmed me down. He had this really soft blanket that he had convinced me had magical powers. Like a shield against the evil creatures. Before he died b
He made sure I had it." I tried to picture him as a child and found that I could. I couldn't help but smile at younger Jared.
          "That sounds really sweet." Suddenly I felt really shy. "Do...do you mind telling me more about your childhood? You know before the turn?" He looked at me and smiled which I returned almost as if I had no choice.
          He looked back at the road. "With that smile how could I say no?" Those words tugged at my memory but only for a second. "Well I played baseball for the Rec. I did some MMA with Jackson and my brother too. Jackson talked us into it but I actually liked it."
          I shifted in my seat. "So you already knew Jackson? I hour you said you met up with him and his cousin when the Walkers took over?" He shook his head.
        "No, Jackson and my brother wee best friends since daycare. That's where parents take their kids when they have to work. My mom stopped working when she had me. He had a sister, or well half sister but he loved her the same. They had the same mom." His expression changed for a split second like it had earlier. He had a pained look on his face.
          I shifted uncomfortably. "What's wrong?"
          He stayed quiet for what seemed like forever until he reached into the glove box and pulled out something. "I know I said you reminded me of Jackson but that's not exactly true." I raised a brow at hi, and he smiled. Somehow I knew he would. "I got married once you know."
          "Wait, what?" I shifted completely so I could sit on my knees I was so surprised. "You were married? Like recently?" He laughed at my reaction but I was too stunned to care.
          "No, back when I was a kid." He acted like it was the most normal thing ever. I might not remember everything but even I knew it wasn't. "Yeah, she had the same expression when I proposed to her. Told me we were too young."
          I snickered. "I don't blame her. I mean you're a kid. Pretty young to get married if you ask me." He kept smiling though. "I mean no offense but the the idea is pretty silly." He looked sad but with a smile still on.
          "She told me the exact same thing. Didn't stop her from saying yes when I proposed to her with a watermelon ring pop. I was ten by the way. She was nine. That when I had my first kiss and she had hers." He looked straight ahead but he looked like his mind was a million miles away. "She was Jackson's sister and she made me ask him for his blessing. We were young but I knew I loved her so I did."
         I looked down at my hands. Why do things keep getting so personal? I couldn't begin to imagine knowing you're in love when you're that young. "She died in a fire accident along with her cousin a year later. They were having a sleepover when some guys showed up. Jackson tried to knock the guy out but he was hit with a tranquilizer dart. They set fire to the house and in the end their bodies were burned beyond recognition. I've never met another girl like her. Although, don't freak out but you remind me of her."
          My stomach began to hurt as my dream ran through my head again. What if it wasn't a dream? What if it was a memory? "Kimani...Tiara..." I muttered trying to figure out what those names meant. Jared suddenly stopped the car.
         "What did you say?" He didn't look at me as he gripped tightly whatever he had pulled from the glovebox.
          My head began to pound and I felt myself tearing up. "Today was the first time I remembered my dream. This guy put me and a girl in this closet and told us to stay put. He had referred to me as Tiara and he called e other girl who looked like Kim, Kimani. I thought it was a random dream but what if that's not a dream?" I hugged myself trying to subdue the pain.
          He shoved a picture at me. "Looks familiar?" He gripped the steering wheel as he started driving again as though his life depended on it. I looked at he picture and my eyes were instantly drawn to the guy furthest to the left, he was tall and thin but he had wide shoulders. Probably still hasn't grown into his frame yet. He had sharp features, black hair, and he looked like the guy from my dream. He had to two younger girls next to him. One looked like Kim. And then there was a short girl with long hair in a ponytail. She looked just like me.
            "The girl in the middle is Tiara and the girl next to her is Kimani. That's you and Kim. You're my Tiara. I knew you looked so familiar the second you smiled. But how are you alive? I was at you're funeral. I saw them take your body out of the ashes." My hand began to shake and I gave him back the picture quickly as though it had burned me. He shook his head and smiled. "Who cares, I finally have you back." He tried to hug me but I moved away. "What's wrong?"
           "I looked away from his troubled expression. "If that's who I used to be its not who I am now. I don't have that girl's memories and I can't try to live the life she would have led. I might be alive but that girl is dead. She might have been yours but I just met you." I wiped a tear away. "All I know is the Lab. They killed the girl."
          "Does the same go for me then?" Kim popped up from the back seat. "Because I feel like I've always been who I am now. The Lab didn't kill me...I mean I'm here aren't I?"
           I looked at her in surprise. For one I didn't know she awake and listening to our conversation. "Kim, the girl in the picture looked care feel she wasn't worried about Walkers. She want worries about being s Labrat? I do. All I think about is survival. I no longer have any hope for the future like she did." Kim looked stunned.
          "But what about Blue Waters? We could be happy there. We're going there right now. I thought you believed in it." I shook my head.
         "You believed in it and I just went along with it because you would annoy me until I did. There's always a chance it's not what you hoped for. We thought we found it before and it was a trap. How do you know it's not any different this time around?"
         Kim looked down. "Because I don't give up hope! I'm sorry I dragged you into my delusional world!" I tried to tell her it wasn't like that but she would pretend not to hear me and stayed quiet until the twins woke up and she pretended nothing happened. Jared stayed silent too.
         I didn't regret anything I said but the silent treatment towards me was almost as painful as remembering, I tried to fall asleep but I became wide awake every time I almost dosed off. I found myself trying to remember stuff from my past again, something I stopped trying ages ago.
          The longer my eyes stayed closed the more flashes of pictures but as always they escaped me. When I couldn't stand it anymore I stared out at a mostly empty road, which turned to me watching clouds. They would turn to shapes and they would remind me of things that then reminded me of other things. I smiled as I lost myself in them.
          I saw one that looked like a heart. Not a real heart of course but the ones that looked pretty. Ones I believed were associated with love. I didn't really know a lot about love and the thought that I was in love once seemed...unreal.
         Sure, Jared was nice and friendly. Pretty cute too but was that enough reason for younger me to fall in love. I sniffed the sweater a bit and felt better somehow. Like I was safe. Like I was home.
        It was a ridiculous thought and I tried to push it away but it came back, stubborn to stay in my head. Jared was new to me. He shouldn't make me feel this way. Especially considering I didn't even know what or where home was. He did remind me of Kim in a way. She like him were noticeably filled with hope, smiled with ease, trusted freely. I smiled as I remembered the way he looked when he talked about his brother...about me from before.
         I've been denying myself , staying quiet and distant, but he made me open up. Made me feel...bubbly. I used to think I knew everything I needed to know, that I would be prepared for what I would face. Now I was like a child barely learning how to walk. I noticed some dark clouds. Rain, probably. Maybe half an hour away. How I knew. I wasn't sure.
        I was a complete idiot. I got these thoughts stuck in my head and now they wouldn't leave me alone. Mostly I couldn't get Jared out of my mind. His expression at my outbursts. He looked like I might as well have slapped him. I felt like crying yet again. I was so frustrated.
        "I like you better when you smile. What's on your mind?" He spoke to me as though the last couple of hours never happened.
         I looked down at my hands that were lost on the sleeves. To Jarred's hoodie. "It mi rain soon." I forced myself to look over at him.
         "Nice observation and thanks for the heads up but I didn't request a weather report. So? What's really on your mind?" He glanced at me.
        "Unless you're going to hold a gun to my head and I find you truly capable of shooting me, I don't have to say anything." I said, defensively which I regretted. "I'm sorry. It's just ...why did you decide to talk me?"
       He shrugged. "Unless you're going to put a gun to my head again and actually pull the trigger, don't expect an answer." He smirked making me unsure how to act. I mean...if I wanted to I could make him think I would actually shoot. Would actually pull the trigger? Before, probably. Now, I couldn't bring myself to do so.
        I hugged my knees together and we didn't say anything more. I saw a flash of lightning and thunder follow two seconds later. He finally spoke up again.
        "I know you're not the Tiara I had lost but you're the Tiara I found. I'm not saying I want you to act like we've know each other our whole lives right now but I want to help you figure out who you are now. If you'll let me." I was surprised and unsure on how to reply. Jared really thinks he could help me figure myself out when I couldn't?
        My heart began to pound. I wanted to play it safe and that would mean shutting him out. Playing safe was all I did. All I did was put up walls. Kim has been with me from the start and telling her some things were hard. There were things she still didn't know about me like the fact that I kept messing up the scientists exams or the fact that they wanted to kill me or that I only started behaving because they would kill her too if I didn't.
        Yet Jared wanted to to help me figure out myself. Maybe I didn't want to play it safe anymore. I've done poorly on my own. Maybe Jared was who I needed. I took a deep breath. "Tell me what I was like before." He looked hesitant.
         "Are you sure?" I nodded quickly so I wouldn't change my mind. He stopped the car. "Okay, but how about we get on the roof on the truck. That way we won't wake them up." I followed his lead, ready to learn about my past.