Worlds Apart

Chapter Twenty Nine

I was aware of a few things, could practically see them like a list in my head.

Carl's fingers were dug into my hips. The wool underneath my palms felt like heaven. My head was spinning, but not in the good way – it was vertigo from too much action after way too much alcohol. He had a better mouth than lighter guy, firm but not bruising if enthusiastic. And I was outrageously aware that the song had changed to Post Break-Up Sex.

I can barely look at you. Don't tell me who you lost it to. Didn't I say we had a deal? Didn't I say how bad I feel?

It really was a playlist for us single fuckers.

Everyone needs a helping hand. Who said I would not understand? Someone up the social scale. For when you're going off the rails.

And the final thing I was far too conscious of was my heart beat. It gave one wild leap when I'd pressed our lips together, and then another when Carl reached out for me, but then it was back to a regular thumping rhythm. When had I even started thinking about that? It had never bothered me before. I was sure my heart hadn't raced for many people before the Harrisons, so why did I care after? I couldn't even be sure if it had kicked up to a run for Josh.

Have post break-up sex. That helps you forget your ex. What did you expect from post break-up sex?

When Carl's hand slipped up my back to tangle in my mess of hair, it was so reminiscent of Cam I had so squeeze my already closed eyes tighter. That had my heart missing a step and almost taking a tumble in my chest. And it made me so furious.

My imagination took advantage of my closed eyes, creating images of Cam doing the same thing to Arabella the night I left. Then I even saw Logan cupping her cheek the way he did to me.

Leave it 'til the guilt consumes. Fucking in the nearest room. All our friends are unaware. Most had just passed out downstairs.

The anger kicked up my heart rate, and I used that, sinking into the kiss. My hands slid down from his shoulders, gripping the lapels of his jacket so I could spin us around. And I broke the kiss in order to push him back on the bed. When his knees hit the edge, it knocked him back so he was seated on the edge unwittingly. I didn't even hesitate, straddling him and pressing our mouths together again with an edge of desperation.

To think I'd hoped you be okay. No I can't think of what to say. Maybe I misunderstood but I can't believe you're feeling good.

I knew I was being reckless, but I didn't stop myself as he disposed of his coat then I untucked Carl's button up shirt with a yank, and then I was pulling it over his head. He wasn't exactly complaining either, hands dipping beneath my shirt to run along my back. I needed this, or at least I needed something and this was going to do.

From post break-up sex that helps you forget your ex. What did you expect from post break-up sex?

His hands were tugging at the hem of my own tank top, and I willing let him pull it over my head before I shoved him back into the mattress. My hands wandered down his bare chest, memorizing what was underneath my palms. And I could feel him through his dark jeans as I straddled his hips, pressing him into the mattress. Even with his mouth fastened to mine, the two of us half way to panting, his hands were everywhere.

Post break-up sex that helps you forget your ex. What did you expect from post break-up sex?

Then Carl ran a hand all the way down the line of my body right to the back of my knee. And with that grip, we rolled until I was flat on my back. Only then did he break the kiss as he moved downwards, lips tracing and memorizing the plains of my skin just as I'd done to him with my hands. And it was to my alarm that while I was out of breath, my breathing was even and easy even with that frankly skilled mouth my lead guitarist had.