Ashantay (Lesbian Stories)

Prologue

I've had a deep yearn for love ever since my mother died when I was 16. It was a difficult time in my life that still, years later, fills me with so much pain at just the thought. She accepted me for who I was. She didn't care that I liked girls and dressed like a boy she just loved me for who I really was.

Right after she died I was so numb, but not with an open numbness. I just went on with things the way I normally would, at least I thought. I thought that I was handling her death pretty well, but for years I was just a prisoner inside my own body.

My mother, Terri Shawns died in June 2009. This was two months before I started my sophomore year of high school and one month after my 16th birthday. At the beginning of the school year I was frustrated and most of all irritated. I remember my first day as if it were yesterday. I don't know why out of all days, my first day is the one that sticks out in my memory. I remember the teachers in every class asking 'what was the best part of your summer?' That one question had me ready to spaz out before I even went into the classrooms. I had already made up my mind to answer with the most sarcastic thing I could think of. The last thing I wanted was someone giving me their bullshit pity. I didn't need or want anything from anyone, especially their pity.

The first class of the day was math and I hated math. I was already in a bad mood and knowing the class was math, made my mood sink even lower. I walked into the class and was glad to see that I was only the third person to make it in there. I quickly grabbed a seat all the way in the back of the room. The first bell rang, in came a group of annoyingly loud kids. The teacher walked in behind them saying, "It's the first day of classes and you guys are already running late." He said as he started to take attendance.

"Ashantay," He said looking around the room to find out who Ashantay was.

I slowly raised my hand, and said, "You can just call me Tay."

"Well nice to meet you Tay, I'm Mr. Blackstin." I gave him a kind smile and a nod as he went on with the rest of attendance.

I could barely focus on what the teacher was saying because I was sitting next to the prettiest yellow bone I had ever seen. I wasn't too much into yellow bones but she was a gorgeous kissed by the sun yellow bone. She was probably about 5'4, hair cut into a short bob and she was built like Nani off of Lilo and stitch. I know it's weird to compare her to a cartoon character but hell that's my favorite show.

When I was leaving Mr. Blackstin's class I felt someone grab my arm. I turned around to see miss kissed by the sun looking at me all confused.

"Hey, my name is Rhanek, nek for short." She said.

"What's up my name is Ashantay."

"So you like girls or something?" She said.

"Yeah, why you ask that?"

"I was just curious because you dress like a boy. I ain't never really been around no gay girls before but I thought you were because of how you dress but I didn't want to just assume. I mean I see them around sometimes. Ain't never been friends with one or even talked to one." She said nervously as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Okay, well I have to get to class. Nice meeting you." She said as she turned to walk away.

"Wait, Rhanek you want to hang out sometime?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I'm not interested in girls or anything but we can hangout and be friends."

"That's cool, ma. I'll see you around let me know when you want to chill" I said.

"Okay, see ya." She said.

After that first awkward conversation we became close as hell and hung out almost every day. Never knew that I would build a lasting friendship with her but I did.

The next six years went kind of fast considering the fact that I was on auto pilot the entire time. I had only three people to really rely on and that was my grandmother, my cousin SheAndre, and my bestfriend Nek. I had never met my dad and I lived with an aunt I had seen maybe five times during the time that my mother was alive. My aunt Tami was my mother's older sister. I never really understood or really cared to know why my mother and my aunt stopped talking. My aunt would say "that's just how things ended up," so I never brought it up much. My aunt had one son, Sheandre, who was only two years older than me so we were close even though he was 18. My grandmother was a beautiful lady sixty-five years old and didn't look a day past fifty.

As I look back over the years I spent most of my time at her house kicking it and chilling with Nek. My grandmother taught me how to do everything and I loved her with all my heart. She passed away when I turned 18. So ever since then I've just always had the mindset of "Don't get too attached." I only have three people who are alive that I'm afraid to lose and that's Sheandre, Rhanek, and her daughter Hope. I don't allow myself to get close to anyone else. If I'm not close to anyone then there's nothing to lose.