FRERARD Haven't Got a Prayer boyxboy

part 8

It’s not like I was ever aiming for popularity… I think that much should be obvious enough.  I mean, I spend all my free time hanging out with the Way brothers- St. Paul’s biggest and only loners.  I committed the ‘social crime’ of signing up for acolyting at least every other week.  And then let’s not forget how I shoved Charlie out of his chair. (For a reason I don’t understand, everybody loves Charlie.  Every girl from third grade up wants to have his babies.  I don’t see the appeal.  He’s not even cute!)

                But even with all that, it still took me by surprise when Kayla came up to me on Monday and told me that I’d just committed social suicide.  Why do I care?  I don’t!  I just don’t see what the big deal is about joining choir.

                It was Gerard’s idea after he snuck up on me at the park and I was singing “Turning Japanese.”  You know the song?  It’s a good song.  Honestly I’m not much of a singer, but Gerard said that for choir you didn’t have to be.  He said I was good enough.  He practically begged me to join.

                So I committed social suicide. Thankfully the choir geek himself and our secret keeper don’t seem completely appalled by my bad judgment, so I still have friends.  There have been more comments flying around about my sexuality though.  Why are these people so interested? 

                “Only queers sing in choir,” Graham told me during Chemistry, but he wasn’t being necessarily mean about it.  “Singing is a girl’s thing. Why not play Basketball or Baseball like the rest of us?”  He seemed genuinely confused, and even though he was the only non-Way who was actually holding a conversation with me over the past three weeks, I decided to mess with him.  Because life isn’t fair, and I’m an asshole.

                “You know, I was thinking about joining badminton,” I said as wistfully as I could manage.  Graham shook his head quickly.

                “No no no, do you WANT someone to stick your gym shorts in the toilet?” he asked, looking scared for my life.  “Because people will do that you know,”

                I got in trouble again… and it’s not even getting my ass whipped that has me bummed out right now. Or the fact that I have to help Pastor Don grade confirmation class papers after school for week.  Well… why don’t I just tell you what happened… and we can try to make sense of it together:

                It started with Charlie, because it always starts with Charlie.  Okay, so it wasn’t just Charlie.  It was also Chase and Brandon.  It was free period, and we had a random choir rehearsal.   I didn’t know about this, and spent about five minutes wandering around looking for Gerard before a teacher told me.  So I took off for the choir room.

                I didn’t realize that Gerard had come looking for me, or that the group of jerks was following me.  Then the guys started throwing taunts at me.  Charlie started it, and the others just joined in.  More gay shit.  Whatever, I didn’t really care.

                “Hey faggot,” Charlie’s voice reached me and I stiffened.   I figured that if I kept walking I could make it to the music room without anything happening.

                “Why’d you join choir?” the boy named Brandon asked me.  He had a nasally voice that irritated me.  I shrugged him off and kept walking. 

                “Hey!” Chase barked.  “Don’t ignore us, midget,” he grabbed my arm and yanked me back, causing me to stop walking. Chase was a chubby kind of guy, but he was strong too.  His messy brown hair fell over his acne covered face in greasy curls.  I turned towards them slowly and pulled my arm from his grasp.