FRERARD Haven't Got a Prayer boyxboy

part 11

                As if I wasn’t already completely and utterly unpopular; I had to just get everyone stuck in an hour long ‘anti-bullying’ presentation.  They all know it’s my fault too, which is the sucky thing.  I think the ‘anti-bullying’ thing isn’t gonna work… since they all want my head on a shiny silver platter like the head of Solomon or whatever.  Was that Solomon?  No, that was Jezebel and the vineyard owner… I think…  God dammit, we just studied this last week!

                Anyways, while one of you goes and looks up that bible story for me, I will continue my own story.  It was just a normal Tuesday morning when I walked into school and headed to my locker.  I found Mikey along the way and he decided to walk with me, because Mikey is awesome.  Even if he doesn’t talk much, it’s still good to have him around.  It’s a comfortable silence, ya know? 

                When we got to my locker and opened it we were hit with a landslide of papers and a certain kinky item.  I knelt down and started looking at the papers while Mikey picked up the dildo and studied it between his fingers.  That’s right. Some fucker put a DILDO in my locker.

                Half of the papers were porn, which I tried not to look at too much, and the other half were bible passages or hate notes. 

                “I’ll go get someone,” Mikey said with a frown, dropping the dildo back onto the pile of notes.  I just stayed kneeling next to it and staring in complete shock.  The notes said stuff like “Go die faggot” and “You’ll burn in hell” and “Sexual Deviant!”  That didn’t really surprise me.  But the fact that someone had actually taken the time out of their day to track these bible verses down and print them off and buy a dildo…  what the hell?  What the fuck makes me so damn special?

                “You like being on your knees, huh?” I didn’t look up to see who said it.  I just stared at the pile and tried to shut it all out.  I didn’t notice that Mikey had returned until Pastor Don was hauling me to my feet and Ms. Michelle, the 9th grade teacher, was covering her mouth with her hand and blushing. 

                I got to spend the most of that morning in Pastor Don’s office reading because they didn’t want me with the other students too much.  They didn’t want anything to happen to me, and they didn’t want me to get mad and start a fight.  Wise decision, really.  So I sat in his office and read all morning.  Pastor Don talked to me about it and I had basically nothing to tell him.  I got to talk to the principal too, whom I hadn’t really known existed until today.

                During lunch Gerard and Mikey came in to eat with me, which was cool.  After lunch they announced an assembly that the entire high school had to go to, and guess what it was about.  Mhm…

                I sat between Mikey and Gerard, Melanie glued to Gerard’s other side, while the principal and Pastor Don shamed us all and preached about loving thy neighbor.   I don’t think it did anything except make a bunch of people pissed at me.  On the way out Chase threatened to kick my faggot ass into next week, and I told him to be careful because my gay might be contagious.  Obviously we learned a lot from the assembly… pft NOT!

                !

                I think Melanie had something to do with the locker thing.  One of the notes said something about unicorn buttsex, and I only made that joke to Mikey, Gerard, and Melanie.  I brought this up to Mikey and Gerard on our walk home and Gerard got really pissy.  He hurried ahead of Mikey and I, and Mikey just sighed and said “You think so, huh?”

                Yeah, I really do.  Not that Gerard gives a fuck.  I mean, why should he believe the guy he’s spent all his time with for the past six weeks over his fake girlfriend that he’d had for four days?  Uncle Clark is still on his faggot rant, especially after the ‘locker incident.’

                “You brought it upon yourself ya know,” he said over dinner, waving his fork at me.  “If you could just act normal you wouldn’t have this kind of problem,”

                “Most of the normal people I know are assholes,” I said, and that received a glare. 

                “There are certain things that are acceptable in society, Franklin,” he told me.  “The sooner you grow up and face it, the sooner you can start to succeed,”

                I don’t want to believe Uncle Clark about this. There’s no way I’m sacrificing who I am to succeed and ‘be acceptable in society.’  Obviously all society has done for me recently is gang rape me and leave me to die.  Thanks society!  Thanks a lot. 

                And now they have Gerard…

                I clenched my jaw and started staring down at my lap, suddenly unable to eat.  I thought I was going to be sick, or start crying, or both.  Maybe I could just recede into myself so much that I literally disappear.  Or maybe I could spontaneously combust.  I heard that has happened occasionally over history.  I started silently praying to God for a random heart attack or bolt of lightning.  Something to just kill me, knock me cold, get rid of all of this.

                Instead God gave me a seven year old. 

                Tiffany took my hand in hers and gently kissed my cheek.  “Don’t be sad,” she said in her little voice.  “You can like whatever kind of color you want,”

                Uncle Clark had no idea what to say to that.  In his ears his daughter had just said something completely irrelevant to the situation, but from the way Grandma was grinning I think she understood.  I did too.  Tiffany could like whatever kind of color she wanted, even if it was green and even if it was a boy’s color.  So could I.  Fuck whatever society thinks, I could be whoever the hell I wanted.

                “Thanks Tiffany,” I said, giving her a genuine smile.  A small smile, more like a grin really, but a smile none the less.  She smiled wide and went back to her dinner. 

                Every day I understand more and more why Gerard chose Sunday school over Youth Group.  Kids are amazing little creatures.

                !

                So I’m going to the dance.  I’m wearing the stupid baby blue suit jacket with a black shirt underneath it and black trousers.  I looked okay except that it was baby blue.  I think the black made it more tolerable.  I walked to the Way’s house and Mikey and I walked to the dance together.  Gerard had already gone.   Mikey laughed at my suit but not in a mean way, and I laughed at it too, because it was really ridiculous.  Mikey got lucky and was wearing a grey suit type thing, which looked a lot better than mine.  He reassured me that the gym was dark for the dance so not too many people would laugh at me.

                Thanks Mikey…