My head on your chest. Your heart beat reverberating through your chest to reach my ears. It calms me. Knowing you're right there. Feeling your chest rise and fall with slow, lazy breaths. A soft light is filtering through the curtains. The curtains with the Paisley pattern that we picked out together, they're flitting in the gentle breeze. I can smell the sea on the breeze, can you? No you're still sleeping. My eyes drift shut as my heart beat and breathing align with yours. But I can't sleep, there's a strange noise somewhere in the distance but I can't place it. I begin rolling and shifting until I can feel calm again. Your warmth surrounding me. Yet this sound won't leave me. A screeching noise, screaming, glass shattering and I'm forced to snap my eyes open.
You're gone. Our bed, my breath, the curtains, but most importantly you, all gone. No. That's wrong you're right beside me. Screaming as the wind shield shatters, plummeting shards of glass into you. In defence your arms have flung up to protect your face but you've let go of the steering wheel. The world is spinning. I can hear the sick sound of crunching metal coming from all sides, and light is pouring through the empty spots where the windows used to be. I can taste iron in my mouth and my vision is blurring yet I still reach out towards you. You're so close, my finger tips can almost brush your chin. So close yet, I'm flung backwards.
I'm grasping at air, I can't breathe, my vision has left me in a black abyss. I'm thrashing about, screaming and crying yet nothing's coming out, nothing except your name. It doesn't take me long to realize I've awoken from the nightmare and even less for me to process it wasn't just a dream. Tangled in the pale sheets we used to share, my sorrows pour out in a shriek that rips its way up my throat. The curtains we picked out are billowing in the night wind, the calm mocking the complete agony I feel. Your absence is killing me slowly, the only one I'll ever love. Our friends have tried to comfort me but none of their hands fit in mine like yours did. Now mine are left to clutch our sheets in balled fists as my tears now silently streak down my face.
Baby I miss you.
