Heaven By Your Side

Chapter One

My hands want to let you go.

My feet want to walk away.

My mind wants forget you,

But my heart protest, it still loves you.

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"You're zoning out again!" My sister Lo's voice calls out.

"Wha?" I say as I glance at her sheepishly.

I've been thinking about him again. My childhood friend. The one who suddenly disappeared one day and left me hanging day after day until I've accepted the fact that he wasn't coming back. He's vanished and the only trace he left behind was the scar in my heart. It's been twelve years and even now, he still tortures me. I have no idea where he is...and I miss him like crazy.

Lo rolls her eyes and laughs. "Pay attention Deja."

"Um, repeat that?"

She shakes her head and repeats herself.

"I was saying that I remember thinking about how boring and dull my life is and why it isn't all that dramatic like my books, and movies?"

I laugh at her dramatic use of words. For her it's always books, books and books!

"I thought sixteen was the age where a lot of things happen like in my books things always happen on their sixteenth! Vampires, supernatural things, a hot guy and her whole life changes!!"

I laugh again and shake my head.

Lo sighs thoughtfully, "It was very exciting within months after my sixteenth though especially with the dick I dated. It was too dramatic for me and very different to how I expected my life to play out.

Gosh, what a waste of time! At least I learnt something from him that dicks like that actually exists."

My smile fades immediately as I think of her dick of an ex. If only she'd confided in him as soon as it happened I'd have done something about it.

I stare at Lo, my one and only eldest sister who can be serious yet so childish. The hurt and betrayal I've felt during that relationship of hers has not yet fade, and truthfully I don't think it ever would. Why doesn't she tell me things? What's the worst that can happen?

Okay, I can admit. Once someone takes a go at those I care about, I'm reincarnated karmic reaction.

I'm bloody Shiva.

But the past is dead and it will only rekindle my hatred towards that guy.

At least Lo's back with her boyfriend though. The dick's loss, and her ex-boyfriend's gain.

Though I suspect she regrets dating him again. She's completely changed from the naïve little girl she was four years ago, something that has definitely got to do with her recent ex. I don't think her current relationship will last much longer though since I can already see the thread breaking. Her boyfriend seems to be the only one trying to save the relationship. I guess he really loves her...That or he's just desperate for someone.

"So...where is your guy anyways?" I ask glancing over at her.

Lo sighs loudly and leans back on my bed, her eyes staring up at the ceiling.

I watch her quietly.

She lets out a weary sigh. "I think I'm going to break up with him again."

I'm not surprise by this news because I expected it. I just don't understand why. Lo is a beautiful person, she's smart and forgiving. Too forgiving. All guys fall head over heels for her, and she plays hard to get though I think it's unintentional. She's picky when it comes to dating. It seems to intrigue guys to liking her more. She's friendly towards guys who talk to her not knowing that she is leading them on. She's that clueless. But...why does she reject the nice guys?

"Why?" I ask her, curious of her answer because last time she believed that her feelings for him had faded. What would this time be?

Lo looks over at me. "I rushed this relationship and it isn't fair on us. Him. I was deeply hurt over my previous relationship and jumped without analysing the consequences into the first comforting arms that was in front of me. I missed the feeling of being treated right because of the horrible way my ex treated me. I jumped blindly and fell...and now I know he's serious about this relationship becoming more—hell, he talked about marriage and babies at one point! Dude, I'm only seventeen! I have plans."

I flinched, horrified. "Marriage? Babies?"

Lo shudders. "I'm way too young to think along those lines."

We both burst out laughing.

"Seriously, though I am," Lo says tiredly.

I stare at her all the while thinking, dude doesn't know what's heading for him.

"When? Is he flying up?" I eventually ask, since there's no point in changing her mind. Lo's made her decision already. Who am I to change her mind? They're always on and off, and it's not as if they always see each other since it's a long distance relationship.

"Remember the last time I broke up with a guy? He threw a bloody tantrum!" Lo groans. "Gosh, being single is so stress free! I don't need any complications in my life."

"So when do you plan to break it off with him, Lo?"

She stays silent and then, "He's coming up for Christmas. After that, yeah."

I watch my sister, practically seeing the thoughts that occupies her going round and round, and pity her.

I lay back next to her and together we stare at the ceiling in my room, our own thoughts occupying the silence.

Our own complications that no-one else but us, knows about.