I laid there still just starring at the phone screen in my trembling hand. Tears flowed out of my eyes rapidly, only one question running through my head 'am i dreaming? '.I pinched myself several times but noticed i was wide awake. I re read the conversation once again.
Shan --hey baby wassup?
Rushane-- baby i need to tell you something...
Shan-- what is it should i be worried??
Rushane-- I've been cheating and I'm soo sorry b
Shan-- what!!! Oh my GOD i can't believe it... just tell her ur in a relationship and end that crap you have with her!
Rushane-- i can't do that I'm inlove with the both of you...
I squeezed down on the screen and delete the conversation. I laid and cried myself to sleep. I prayed that the pain would just go away.
Slowly i learnt to stop crying so much over what is already done. But everytime i saw him on that bus to school the pain return to my heart, i hated myself for still loving that asshole but i just can't help myself.... I've fallen for d wrong guy now i don't think i could ever love again..
I prayed that this time God will send that guy for me, that guy that makes me super happy, who is smart, cute, spends a whole lot of money on me, wants and needs only me.I hate long distance relationship..... i would want him to be at school with me, to hold my hand and keep me happy and to be home with me so i never get cold. He'd be the shoulder i rest on.
Day after day i watch these happy couples pass by me, in their own little world. I can't wait for that day for me. No boy even looks at me that kinda makes me a little bit sad but i won't give up on God ever cause i know he'll do this for me.
My bestfriend Moya gets alot of attention and my friends:Anna, Dev and Kimone. But i have no grudge i love my friends and I'll always be happy for them and i will never doubt myself!
