captured moments

02. // infinite.

02. // infinite.

she stood still, her heart barely beating, her breath coming out in short bursts.

"no," she whispered. "He - he can't - he can't be - " she stopped, unable to speak, for once in her life at a loss for words.

"i'm so sorry." they whispered quietly, forced sympathy etched into their faces.

she turned around slowly and walked over to the back door of the house, her legs shaking.

she turned back, one last time, to look at them. for years she had seen them as her saving grace, the parents that had taken her in when she was found on the side of the road, a toddler, crawling to who knows where, crying out for help.

but now, she could finally see past their facade. for what she had grown up to believe was love, she now recognized as pity.

pity for the toddler abandoned on the side of the road.

she spun around and slamed the door shut, running into the woods, gasping, fleeing from the pain that was ravaging her body. she heard them behind her, calling her name, pleading with her to come back. but they didn't understand her pain. no one did. no one had except for him. and now he was gone.

she screamed with frustration, and ran her hands through her hair. she fell to her knees and pounded the ground with her fists, sobbing. she shuddered and collapsed with exhaustion, all her previous energy now having vanished.

she was a shell of her former self, and just that. nothing left inside of her. nothing left for her to care about. she was broken and fragile; the smallest thing could knock her spinning over the edge.

she slowly sat up, and then dragged herself over to where the shade of a tree was resting. the wind whistled around her ears, and she sighed with longing, remembering the very first time they had both come here, to this very place.

she could almost feel a smile forming on her lips, but it vanished as soon as it had come. she had wanted that day to never end, to be the one thing that was eternal in her life. the one thing that never left her, that stayed with her forever.

nothing had made her as happy as he had. nobody could fill the gaping hole in her heart that he had left. nobody could ever take his place.

she sat herself down in the hollow of a tree, a tree that for so many months had been their secret, the one thing they had to themselves, the one place they could go to block out the world. she heard them walk by her, still calling her name, not noticing her. just like all the other years of her life when she needed someone most.

he had been the only one who had seen through her disguise of happiness. and now he wasn't here anymore. he had gone, just like everyone else she had cared about.

she drew in a shuddering breath as one tear slipped down her face. as she closed her eyes, she could almost feel him sitting next to her, his arm around her shoulders, his smile lighting up her world, his laughter ringing out around them.

she hated that he was gone, hated him for leaving her so soon.

a car crash.

he had died in a car crash.

he had been so young. just eighteen. eighteen. and now he was gone. forever.

she sighed, a quiet whisper in the still air.

"i'll love you - infinitely."