Jack's POV
I ripped apart my room after Vanessa left and started to get my mind off of her so I decided to smoke a joint and do a line of coke. about an hour later I heard a knock
"v?"
(okay skipping convo)
Vanessa was going upstairs and I heard my bedroom door open and then reality hit me shit.
"Vanessa!" I ran up the step and saw her just standing there holding a picture of us.
She set it down and pick up another thing. I didn't see it at first but when she turned and said something I couldn't hear I look at her hands and felt so guilty.
"Vanessa please please I didn't mean to I didn't even know I did that. omg I promise I can make this better." I started crying.
"y-you broke it." she whispered so quietly almost as if she was saying it to herself.
"I didn't mean too I can fix this!" I ran up to he and try to fix it but it was no use. it was the one thing that always brought us together.
Vanessa's POV
when he said he could fix it I knew he couldn't. I was so broken and I could tell he was too because he was crying trying to put it together.
When we were little Jack always use to play with my wrists and the brackets I would wear from when I was really depressed and he saw the scars and would always ask me about them. so when he turned 14 and I was 13 I got him one of his own it cost so much money it said "Jack and Vanessa forever 12-27-98" the day we started being friends. It was in half and that broke my heart in half.
"Vanessa you know I would never mean to break this right? you know how much I love this gift. you know I would never do it on purpose."
"j-Jack I need t-to sleep it's been a l-long enough day already." a few tears escaped my eyes as I went into the bathroom and just starred at myself. I hate myself. I hate who I am. I hate everything about me.
I heard soft knocks on the bathroom door. "you okay."
"yeah I'm just gonna take a shower." I responded and locked the bathroom door. I started the shower and stripped and hopped in.
I just stood there. standing under the warm but slowly getting cold water. nothing I felt nothing. I saw the blade. I grabbed it and dragged it across my wrist one for each thing wrong with me.
ugly
stupid
worst bestfriend
too fat
not good enough
hurting him.
I was crying softly. the last time I did this too myself was when I was 14 or 15 when my mom passed away. I stood in the shower for another 45 mins until I heard someone trying to unlock the doorknob.
I looked out the glass door and saw the doorknob turn "hello?"
"V? you okay you've been in there awhile."
"y-yea I'm about to come out."
"okay I made food if your hungry."
"thanks" I'm not hungry. maybe I feel like this because I don't deserve to eat.
I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around me. I go to jacks closet of clothes and pick out a long sleeved crew neck and a pair of his basketball shorts that were very big on me.
I didn't want him to see them. the cuts. last time he found out that I did something like this to myself and I wasn't talking to him for months he got bad he didn't eat or sleep. so I have to keep this from him.
I made it downstairs and sat on the court holding the hand holes of the crew neck. I heard Jack in the kitchen and something brake.
"J-J-Jack? is that you?"
"yeah shit. I just dropped a glass on accident can u help?"
"sure"
I got up and walked into the kitchen Jack was surrounded by glass and had a few tiny little cuts on his fingers and feet.
"here sit on the counter" I suggested.
"why?" he asked but did as I said.
"because you have little cuts on you." I whispered and looked down at the ground with the glass and kneeled down so I could pick it up.
" let me help Vanessa! for once!" he screamed out of nowhere which made me jump and back away from him. I knew Gilinsky always had a temper but he's never yelled at me like that.
"oh fuck. sorry. I didn't mean too scream like that." he apologized and lowered his voice.
I just continued to clean it up and walked upstairs and laid down on my bed.
"v? the bracelet. I'm sorry I didn't mean too I swear." he whispered in the now dark bedroom and I turned so my back was towards him.
"I'm going to sleep goodnight." I cried a little.
I felt the bed sink and felt an awkward distance between us.
I turned so I was now facing him.
"Jack." I said barely audible but he obviously heard cause it was dead quiet.
"yea." he said turning so he was now facing me.
"why'd u break it?" I asked playing with the sleeves on the crew neck.
"why'd u cut?" My head shot up at him.
"What what are you talking about Jack."
"cause I know you. that's why u were in the shower so long. can I see?"
"y-yea.." I pulled up the sleeves and Jack sat up and turned the lamp on and pulled me up by my waist and sat me down on his lap and grabbed my hands and pulled up the sleeves and just looked at them and rubbed his thumb back and forth.
"does it hurt?"
"not as much as before."
" I didn't mean to break it. I was trying to put it down so I didn't break it but I ended up not being able to get it and it broke in half off my wrist and i couldn't left it on the floor."
"oh." was all I could get out.
"can we just talk about this later?i can tell ur tired v."
"yea" I yawned
I turned my back and Jack turned the light off and he came close to me and put his arm around me.
then I slowly fell asleep.
