Saving Sara

Untitled Part 1

Chapter one...

Happy. Its been along time since I have use that word to describe myself. sometimes I try to hide the fact that my past defines me but I can't it's harder for me to look forward than it is to look back so I just drift on. Almost invisible to everyone. Life has only gotten slightly more difficult because I am being forced into going back to high school my mom thought the fact that I was that I was being home-schooled might be the cause of my issues... I don't really classify this as an issue though because it makes me view life in different ways that others but as my mom put it "I am slowly dragging myself into depression," what did you think I was going to say, hell. Hahaha... no.

School sucks. Life sucks. Being alone is really my own escape from a world of people who constantly suck at being human. Whatever happened to those commercials that teach you bullying is not the answer. You literally what them then you forget what you saw a minute ago and go back to your selfish ways. I know that not everyone is like this but in my life it has always been. The only safe zone I have is here in the place I call my room.

Just a simple plain light baby blue room. Along with my brown and blue comforter. Other side of my room sits a large bookcase filled with some of my favorite books and a simple desk holding my laptop and other miscellaneous thing right next to it. My room wasn't to decorated I have a few quotes on my walls and a family photos from when we went to the beach a few years ago. I liked it this way. My mother had banned me from using darker curtains so the light would come in very early and cause me to wake up. I'm not complaining though because when I woke up early I could sit by my window and get up a few minutes before sun rise and read while it all happened. It was clam. I liked things calm is that a crime.

I guess according to my mother it was called being depressed, but I clearly am not. I'm just a strong introvert who thinks a lot about life. It's not my fault that my mind likes to process things like 'what if I was here','why are all these things in this world going on'. Sure sometimes I can't sleep and sometimes I feel sad. I do get stressed out because well life and my future. Honestly I always feel like I am denying the fact that I am depressed but I feel like denial keeps me sane.

I started school again a few weeks ago it didn't suck completely but it did suck a tad bit. When I got home the first week my parents wouldn't stop bugging me about school how it was. When they heard my short responses they diverted their attention to my slightly older twin brother Tyler. When this happened he proceeded to talk about how the coach of the basketball team was pushing them to do their best and talking about his first game. It used to be a tradition for all of us to go but I didn't like going, at all, so i stopped. Apparently Tyler was kind bummed out and his 'game was thrown off' but that was such a load of bull because they had basically creamed the other team.

They had a small party after that because they were "on a roll" they were undefeated. The whole team came over and my brother being the social and happy and cheerful person he was threw a party. Not once did I go to the part. I didn't even leave my room.

Today was Sunday not much was going on Tyler had a couple of his friends over and my parents were both at my aunt's house. I was just simply staring at my ceiling thinking if I should go get food now or wait until Tyler and his friends leave the living room to go out site to do that. The fact that my stomach started grumbling meant that I should probably go get food. I slowly climb of my bed and putt on my shoes trying to hear if Tyler and his friends are still in the living room. Damn this big house I couldn't hear them. Maybe the birds were just being extra loud today or something?

As I walked down the stair I could clearly see Tyler and his friends where had their backs faced to me and were probably watching the TV. I guess I had made a noise because Tyler's head suddenly whipped in my direction, how did he not get whiplash from that...