That Youtuber Next Door (Joe Sugg Fanficton)

Panic // Harlow

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Completely, and utterly horrified is an understatement for how I feel right now. I'm normally very good at hiding my emotions, but right now, I feel as if I'm about to bubble over. My world is crumbling from the inside out and I have no idea how to stop it. Words and scenerios keep bouncing back and forth in my head and I almost can't handle my own thoughts.

Luke found me. I already knew that he would at some point, but I couldn't help myself from having a sliver of hope that he wouldn't. I couldn't keep myself from friendship, and I most certainly couldn't keep myself from falling for Joe. There was no way around it, but it's just making this all the more painful.

Everything that is happening around me is in slow motion, and I can hear Joe's voice ringing in my ears, "Harlow? Harlow! What's wrong?"

My breathing becomes irregular and darkness begins to cloud my vision. Whats happening to me? I begin to panic as the car comes to a stop. My hands won't stop trembling and my head feels like it might explode.

"Harlow calm down! It's ok!" I hear a soothing voice that sounds like Caspar's.

"Make it stop!" I squeak, unaware if anyone even heard me.

"Deep breaths." I hear a hushed voice that calms me a teeny bit.

I breath in slowly and squeeze my eyes shut. In, out, in out. When I finally feel the heaviness in my head disappear, I open my eyes to see a concerened Joe and Caspar. I find my hand completely intertwined with Joe's and my stomach flutters before returning to a sickly feeling. We have pulled over into somewhat of a field and it looks like it could go on and on forever.

"I-I need a- uh- minute." I stutter slipping out of the car and past Joe and Caspar. My legs feel numb as I begin to run. I don't even know where I'm going, I just need to go somewhere.

"Harlow?!" I hear Joe shout from behind me. I keep going further and further into the field until my lungs can't take it anymore.

"Screw You!" I scream at the top of my lungs, unable to hold it in anymore. I don't even realize that it sounds like I'm yelling at Joe until I see his expression sadden.

"No, that wasn't meant to be at you. I uh, was talking to someone else. Not really sure who but I-" I ramble trying to correct myself. Joe still just stands their staring at me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper feeling tears threaten to fall. I will not cry.

Somehow, I don't even notice Joe close the space between us. I was just too caught up in hiding my emotions. By the time I do realize, I'm being enveloped in a warm, comforting hug. Actually, it was much more than a hug, it was something bigger. Something that can't be described in words for the concept is just to abstract.

"Its okay if you don't want to tell me as long as you let me be here for you." Joe whispers in my ear. My heart skips a few beats as his breath touches my skin.

"Don't worry for me," I mumble burying my head into the crook of his neck, "You'll regret it."

"I'll regret nothing if it's all for you." Joe hugs me tighter.

"Where have you been my whole life?" I sigh as I realize how much I needed a friend like Joe.

"Waiting." Joe replies in a hushed tone.

Somehow, Joe was able to get me back in the car in order to drive home. My head was still cloudy with the somewhat romantic conversation that we had shared, but I kept telling myself to forget about it. I will not bring Joe down with me.

I still hadn't dared to read the Dm that Luke sent me. I was merely just too scared to see what the contents held for me. Basically, whatever was inside the Dm, was my inevitable future. That is what scares me the most.

As we pull into our driveway to our two apartments, no one says a word. I take this as an opportunity to take a moment to myself. I hop out of the car and quickly slip into my apartment shutting the door behind me. I need to be by myself to read this. Taking a deep breath, I open the Dm.

Lukey @Luke_Wayne: I miss you
Lukey @Luke_Wayne: So glad that I've found a way to talk to you
Lukey @Luke_Wayne: Babe?
Lukey @Luke_Wayne: answer me.
Lukey @Luke_Wayne: These stupid idiotic games you play will be the death of me.
Harlow Smith @HarlowS: Leave me alone.
Lukey @Luke_Wayne: OMG I've been so worried about you!
Harlow Smith @HarlowS: No you haven't. You just want me to come home so that you can use me as your little rag doll.
Lukey @Luke_Wayne: That's not true babe! I love you
Harlow Smith @HarlowS: well you sure have a strange way of showing it.
Lukey @Luke_Wayne: Stop. Now where are you?
He hasn't found me yet?
Harlow Smith @HarlowS: Why would I tell you.
Lukey @Luke_Wayne: Harlow we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.
Harlow Smith @HarlowS: there is no such thing as an easy way with you.

And with that, I blocked his Twitter and shut my phone off. He doesn't know where I am. A small smile finds its way to my face as I realize that I have some more time to spend with Joe and Caspar.

I tiredly flop onto my couch while my eyelids become heavy. Today has been the longest day of my life. Just when sleep is about to come over me, I hear my door squeak open.

"Harlow?" I hear Joe call. I do not answer for I don't feel like explaining myself at the moment. The door shuts and I expect the room to fall silent, instead I hear footsteps walking towards the couch.

"Are you asleep?" Joe whispers and I almost laugh at the question. I keep my eyes shut, still not in the mood to tell my depressing life story.

"I know you won't even hear this since your asleep, Lo, but I just wanted to talk. These past 2 weeks since you Moved here have been some of the best days I've had in awhile. I don't know how you manage to do it, but you never fail to make me smile. I get this feeling when I'm around you, like time is infinite. My heart beats a million times a second and all I want to do is stare. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Which is actually kind of sad since I know that a girl like you will never end up with a guy like me. What I do hope to happen is that you will trust me. It doesn't seem like you have trust in anyone right now, but sometimes you just need to spill everything on your mind before you overflow. Because I'm worried that that will happen to you. I'm worried that when you finally can't hold everything that you have been inside you, you will just crumble. You can trust me, Lo. I will protect you, Casp will protect you too. Whoever this guy is that is making your life a living hell will get whats coming to him. And if I ever see him, I will for sure beat the crap out of him. Or maybe Caspar will since I'm a twig... That's beside the point. When you wake up, it will be as if I was never here and I know that. But I just want to say that you are worth it, so don't give up." And with that, Joe gives me a kiss on the forehead and leaves me to sit in awe. Little did he know that I will remember the words that just left his mouth. Did he say you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Or am I dreaming?

~•~•~•~
Are Harlow and Joe finally figuring out that the feelings are mutual?! :3

Xo, TextingSuggs