Love, Misunderstood

Part 2- Chapter One

Two years ago, if someone had told me that I would be happy and standing in one of the world's most romantic cities , I would have responded with "yeah, right", before storming off. But alas, today my life now feels like a dream, one that previously seemed out of reach, but then, magically thrown into my grasp. Life is a journey, and without the many obstacles and struggles I've encountered, things would not have panned out as they have. So, where am I now? Let me start with the events that have led me here.

It all started with the worst breakup of my life. I must have cried for twenty four straight hours, and passed out after drinking a cocktail or two made from a few different rums and vodka in my cabinet. I'm sure I didn't really cry that long in reality, but time, to a broken heart, is never as it seems. The tears seemed to flow on forever as I thought about him, and I was angry at him for hurting me, and for, well, ruining my life. But wait, that's not really where it all started. For a clearer picture, I need to go back a bit further than that and give you the full story.

When I was thirteen years old, I went to the local carnival with my best friends, Courtney and Jodi. I can still remember that day as clearly as if it happened yesterday. I was living in Blakely, a suburb of Chicago, and it was just before the Fourth of July holiday in 1992. The weather was unusually cool at a balmy 68 degrees. The main reason Courtney and Jodi wanted to go to the carnival was to check out at all the boys, and plan which ones they would flirt with once school started again. I must admit, while they, and most of the girls in our class, had advanced into the boy-crazy phase, and devoted every free minute to devouring magazine articles about the hottest teen stars, I was still on the cusp of it all, and really wanted to go on the rides instead. I liked boys and had developed a few crushes, but I hadn't reached the point of giving up other hobbies in exchange for a boy's attention. I was hanging on to my youth and my innocence for dear life.

So there I was, tagging along with my friends, pretending to be just as interested in the boys as they were. I wanted to go on at least one ride while there, so I suggested going on the Ferris wheel, and when they gave me the "that's for kids" look, I argued that that we could get a better view of the crowd, and see exactly who was there. "Sabrina, you're totally right! Let's go!" squealed Courtney, as she twirled her long blond hair, that she no doubt had spent hours curling before heading to the carnival. Courtney and Jodi were into wearing makeup and curling their hair while I was still in braids and the only thing on my face had an SPF of at least 30, compliments of my overbearing mother.

Between the two of them, I was closer to Courtney because I had known her the longest. We met when we were still in diapers because our moms became friends when her family moved into the house across the street. My mother was a stay-at-home-mom, and became Courtney's babysitter while her parents went off to work every day. Neither Courtney nor I had any siblings, and we spent nearly every day together before reaching school age, so we declared ourselves to be unofficial sisters. We didn't go a day without seeing or speaking to each other, unless one of us was sick. Even then we'd still try to sneak in a phone call. I don't have any memories of life without her.

"Sit with me?" I asked Courtney, once I saw Katie approaching the Ferris wheel line. Katie was Jodi's slightly older cousin, and definitely more advanced than any of us were in the boy department. I always felt uncomfortable around Katie, and I think it was because her nearly fully-developed body intimidated me a bit. "Of course!" Courtney replied, still twirling her hair.

After taking our seats on the gondola, and the lap bar was locked, we slowly took off toward the sky. As soon as we were out of earshot of the others, I turned to her and said "You know, I came here tonight to ride the rides, not stare at boys." "I know you did", she replied with a smile. "But aren't you curious about who's here? Aren't you a little excited to see any of them?" she asked with such hopefulness in her voice. I did have a crush on one boy, but I had not yet told anyone about it. Not even Courtney. "Not really" I replied. "It's just that, I don't know, I-". And before I could even finish that thought, we arrived at the top and I saw him. My crush. Justin Abernathy. At that moment, time seemed to stop. I later realized that it was the ride that had stopped, to let more people board.