2 A.M

Why?

I stood far away from him. Far enough where I could see him, he couldn't see me. I knew what Mer was doing, she knew what she was doing, Derek knew what she was doing, Hell the man on the 12th floor in coma for 15 years knows what's she's doing. Boy, will she pay for it later. Walking closer and seeing he was having a conversation I stopped. He was talking to a tall blonde, very gorgeous nurse. Probably saying things like "Oh yah... Well you probably do that with your wife right?" Sly sly. As soon, as she walked away I cleared my throat and said "Mark?" He turned around smiling and the it vanished. Eyes of surprise on his handsome features. My heart sputters, and skips a beat. I was gonna have to replace this heart soon if it was gonna stop beating every time he looked at me. Looking at him and realizing he was still staring at me I waited. He realized he was staring and quicklyt dropped his head. Clearing his throat. "Dr. Grey?" Heart sputters, and I swear to god stopped beating. Damn heart, trying to kill me.
"Dr. Grey was there something you wanted?" Right. Was there? Um.......... My mind was coming up blank. Searching my brain I found what I was looking for.
"Uh...er yah.. Mer" clearing my throat. "Uh the other Dr. Grey needs you for breast implants" He looked at me and raising an eyebrow. "Dr. Grey doesn't need implants.. The patient needs... The patient would like
implants" Okay Note to self you're an awkward idiot.
"I know I'll get to her on it thank you."
Nodding and smiling I quickly walk away
Wheeeew! It was over.
~3hours~
Walking into an on call room tired and ready to drop, I let my mind wonder to Mark. I loved him so much. He's the one I'm supposed to be with. Yet, here I am crying on the inside, wishing I was dead because he is with her. He chose her. She was his. I was supposed to be his. I started remember the way I felt when I was dying. How he made me feel so much better. That he would live a life. Even... Even with out me. Breaking down I fell to my knees. Letting the pain overtake me. Its been 1 year since the plane crash and I haven't let that sorta pain take me. Crush me from the inside and out. "Lexie?" I hear Marks voice. I freeze. Damn it! He was everywhere. Everywhere! "Lexie? Are you okay?" He was squinting at me. Standing up too fast and almost toppling over I quickly wiped my eyes and squashed the lump in my throat. "Mar... Mar.... Mark." I stammered. Oh yeah lexie that'll convince him. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Yes.
"N...No.. Just... An ... Er umm.... Patient.." I stuttered. I'm in love with you.
Shut up shut up! I told my brain
"Oh okay, do you wanna talk?"
"N..O I'm just gonna go" I turned around hand on the handle and his fingers brushed against my arm.
Grabbing me he whispered "Don't go" Why? He didn't care. He didn't love me. He told me he did. He saved my life. But he didn't love me. Leave lexie. Open that door and leave.
Fighting my brain, it turned to look a at him. My breath caught into my throat when he got closer.
"One minute." He whispered. I'm pinned against the door and I stare into his eyes. Hesitant, I lift my fingers and lightly ran my fingers against his soft lips. He flinched but didn't move my hands and I ran my gingers against his cheek. Then he grabbed my hand scaring me. This was it. The minute was over. I was prepared to leave. I stared into his piercing blue eyes once more and went to turn. Then he kissed me. Soft, hesitant. Then more passionate. Aggressive, but gentle. Sad, but excited. Ready, but terrified. He was my everything. I felt his hot breathe on my own. His sweet tounge gliding its way into my mouth. For one night I was gonna forget about everything. And just be Lexie Caroline Sloan. As I've always wanted to be.