PERNAH

Untuk 3 Tahun

Esok genap 5 tahun umur saif
Awak tahu saya rindu awak kan.
These past few years not very smooth for me.
Saif makin membesar.
Perilaku dia macam awak tau.
Senyum dia.
Nakal dia.
Tak dinafikan dia warisi genetik annoying awak tu.
"Umi kenapa orang tu macam tu?"
"Umi kenapa epal masam?"

Umi umi umi.
Kadang- kadang saya terseyum sendiri tengok telatah dia.
How he really resemble you dear.

How I wish you were here.
Sama-sama tengok dia membesar dengan saya.
I really miss you.
Saya habiskan masa minggu saya dengan saif. Bawa dia pergi dia berjalan.
Buy him books and every night before he sleep I will read him my favorite story.

Our story.

Every night before sleep he will ask me " umi, babah mana?? Kenapa saif jarang jumpa babah???kawan- kawan saif semua babah dia hantar pergi sekolah.Tapi saif , umi hantar."
These brought tear to my eyes.
How should I explain to 5 years old that you already gone to a better place...
Everytime after he ask me that question he will fall asleep while holding my hand.

Ya Allah kuat ke aku.
I miss him very much.
I miss everything about you.

How you promised me that you wouldn't leave me.
Allah loves you more darling.
How I wish I could turn back the wheel of time to stop you from saying goodbye.
*Sigh

Esok mungkin saya nak bawak dia pergi bercuti.
Hari Malaysia kan.
Dia teruja bila saya nak bawa dia pergi bercuti.