The Incomplete

THOUGHTS

The storm of emails continued. They didn't give any more panics to Ishana. Right now, existence of her orphanage was at stake. She felt helpless, just like her past. She shuddered at the memories. It's said that time heals. Really?She thought to herself. The phrase needs to be redefined. Time doesn't heal, not really, it only makes people used to the pain. Time only makes people strong enough to tolerate the pain, getting used to it, getting to live with it. And according to her, getting used to is not the healing process. The pain, the scars, the hurt feeling still prevails. Because whenever her memories flash before her, she finds herself crying as if the bleeding is still fresh. That's when she realizes the pain is still there, wrapped up nice and tight within her. It's like the same bullet hitting again and again.

How happy she was when her dream came true! And now, here she stands, watching her dream tending to move away from the reality, shifting her to dysphoria.

No one sees how damaged her soul is. Her heart cries continuously, her eyes tear-less. She wished to escape from reality. Her past experience says that it only worsens the situation, makes her a coward. She has to face the grave situation ultimately.

Her phone ring distracted her train of thoughts. She mentally noted to write in her journals. She didn't trust anyone enough to share the deep thoughts except for the pages in her diary.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Ishana?" The familiar voice on the other hand asked.

"Yes?"

"Recognise me?''

Ishana sighed. "Umm...actually no.." She replied awkwardly.

The voice giggled." You sound scared silly. Relax..it's Rimi."

"Oops...I'm sorry. I-"

"Keep your apologies aside" Rimi didn't let her finish, "We've lots to talk."

Ishana chuckled, "How are you? Heard you married Zawad. Congrats."

"Whoa..so you know after all." Rimi didn't expect that.

"Of course I do, I'm not that bad..."

"Was it so hard to contact us?" Rimi complained.

"I won't deny my fault. I've been going through a lot...still, sorry" Ishana admitted.

"You alright?" Rimi asked, worried.

Ishana considered that for a moment. Truth is she was not alright, not at all. She didn't even had the mood to share it. Answering the truth will raise many questions which she is not intending to answer.

She didn't want to lie either, "I'm okay..kind of worried about the legal stuffs."

"Legal stuffs? About your orphanage?"

"Hmm"

"Sounds like a movie or tv series."

"Reality is a bit more complicated than that." Ishana answered it for the hundredth time may be,it was not the first time she heard it.

"Surely a bad case, huh?" Rimi inquired.

"Sort of.... tell me about you." Ishana shifted the topic.

"What about me? I'm good. Just that I can't conceive."

"Sorry to hear that...it must be hard on you." Ishana was despaired.

"Zawad is supportive, not my in-laws though."Rimi gave a sarcastic smile.

"Women's life!" Ishana sighed." Hey, did you think of adoption?"

"Not yet..maybe we've to."

"You can come to my orphanage, in case you decide.." Ishana offered.If it exists upto then, she added in her mind.

"Sure, Miss Busy." Rimi joked.

"Oh..not that tantrum. By the way, how was the get together?"

"Everyone missed you. Specifically Shafqat." Rimi teased.

Ishana ignored that. "I expected everyone to be annoyed."

"Well..let's just say, you have our empathy." Rimi said, recalling that day's discussion about her.

"Hmm" Ishana couldn't findd words to say. It was odd, once their topics had no endings and now..

"You know Ishana," Rimi started again, "Shafqat still loves you. I saw it in his eyes,his words, the way he speaks about you."

"I'm not giving any thoughts to it, Rimi" Ishana said slowly, almost a whisper.