charcoal hearts

awkward

Authors note;

Hi all, this is my first ever story and I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing or where this is going to go but I started writing this first chapter today and I really loved it and unexpectedly found writing theraputic. I 'm enjoying this and hope you all do too! :) please let me know what you think!!

"Shit. Where is it? I'm going to be late!" Exasperated, I sighed. I just spent the last five minutes looking for my umbrella and it's nowhere to be found in my car. I run my hand through my brown curly and unruly hair trying to get a grip on my life. Taking one last look in my car, I slam the door shut and make my way to class in the rain mumbling, "Fuck it."

The college campus is beautiful, no doubt about that, but right now I couldn't help the hatred that filled inside of me. I hate being here. I hate this stupid college and all of these stupid people. My heart tugged at the idea of home. 71 miles away, it's not a lot, but it feels like I'm in a whole other world.

I walk furiously fast, trying not to be late for class. The soggy colored leaves squish under my boots and the puddles of rain splash with each step I take. I look around and see many others walking without umbrellas and feel a little better knowing I won't be the only person soaked in class.

I get to the door of Wickmore hall where my 8 AM class is held. I'm stupid for choosing a class this early, but honestly I just picked whatever classes were left open. I pull open the door and a rush of warm air engulfs my damp hair and body. I walk into the beautifully modern building and uncomfortably make my way up the stairs, my boots squeaking with every step I take.

I reach the top of the stairs and walk down the hall to room 281 where my political science class is held. I sigh, uneasy at the thought of walking into a room full of people who will look at me as soon as I open the door. Looking at my boots, I hold my breath and open the door. Immediately I feel the gazes of just about everyone in the class. Extremely uncomfortable, I make my way over to my usual empty seat and sit down. I pull out my phone to check the time and see that it's only 7:58, class hasn't even started yet. I groan and start to take out my things.

~~~~~~~

An hour and fifty minutes later, I leave the building and walk towards my car filled with dread. I'm so focused on my random thoughts and to-do lists that I don't even realize it's downpouring until two girls run in front of me screaming and laughing, pulling me out of my thoughts. Annoyed at being almost slammed into, I huff and pull my wet jacket closer to my body and quicken the pace of my steps.

I stick my key in the drivers door to unlock my old beaten up car. She's a little rusty, but I love her nonetheless. I throw my backpack into the passenger's seat and get into my car. As soon as I turn on the car I turn the heat up high to warm up my freezing body, and to help dry my hair and clothes.

I sit there for awhile, not having the energy to leave the parking lot, and completely lost in thought. What am I doing here? I don't belong here. I don't want to be here. I'm engulfed in the feeling of loneliness and lean my head back against the head rest. 

I spent my senior year of high school wanting to leave that place as soon as I could, but now that I have, I would give anything to go back.

I sit there, in my parked car with the engine running in complete silence except for the pattering of the rain on my car. I'm staring off into the distance for what seems like forever when I'm broken out of my trance by shouting. I look up to see a boy standing next to the drivers door of the car parked to my right. He's standing in the rain yelling at someone over the phone.

 I've never seen him before, I mean this is a big campus so that's probably why. Either way he looks handsome, with his dark curly hair peeking out of the beanie on his head. 

I couldn't understand what he was saying, all I could hear were muffled words, but he was loud and looked angry. He hung up and let out a loud, "Fuck!" and started pulling out a pack of cigarettes when he immediately looked over at me and caught my gaze. I quickly turned my head the other way, embarrassed for staring. My cheeks felt warm and I put on my seat belt. I checked my mirrors before backing out and leaving the parking lot to head my next class, completely embarrassed.

I arrive at my next class, this time not damp from the rain. I had a little bit of time in between classes and decided to go buy an umbrella, not wanting an incident like this morning to recur. I'm about to walk in when I notice the same guy from earlier, the one who was angrily yelling at someone over the phone, walking down the hall. I duck my head and hurry into the room, hoping he didn't notice me from earlier. 

I quickly find my seat in the back away from everyone else. I was starting to settle in and pullling out my things from my bag when I heard the loud booming voice of my professor and my eyes snap up. There he was, the angry boy from earlier, talking to the professor. I hear my professor say, "Welcome, Ezra!", and give him a pat on the back. Huh, Ezra, what a nice name. Wait..he's in this class now? Since when? Shit! 

I try to contain my mini panic as Ezra started making his way towards the back, his soft curls bouncing with every step. He still looked angry even though it's been a couple of hours. It took every ounce of strength in me to look back down at my notebook instead of his strangely beautiful face. Okay, Eleanor, stop that thought right there.

 I start making random doodles with my head ducked down low, hoping he wouldn't see me. Each step he took sounded closer and closer to me and the feeling of butterflies in my stomach only intensified. All of a sudden I see movement in front of me and I glance up, letting go of the breath I had been holding, seeing he was sitting in front of me. That's good, I thought to myself, he probably didn't notice or recognize me.

A long two hours and ten minutes later my professor switched on the lights after the movie we were watching had just ended. Throughout the whole movie my mind kept going back to Ezra. I want to know more about him, like why he was mad earlier. All of a sudden I notice everyone starting to pack up their things as the professor reminds us of our assignment due for the film we just watched.

 I start packing up my things getting ready to leave when I hear someone in front of me say, "You know it's rude to stare." Confused, I look up and see Ezra looking at me with what seems to be intrigue. I look into his amazingly hazel eyes and immediately feel my face heating up, realizing what he just said. Oh god. He did notice me from earlier. Shit. I manage to stutter out a "Sorry", and hastily get up out of my seat, trying to get out of here as fast as I could. God why am I so awkward.