Something good out of something bad!

I'm scared!

I was rushed into theatre, next thing I knew I woke up in the recovery room, and I still couldn't feel my legs.
A doctor came in and said "ah, you're awake now, I don't want to scare you, but your legs were too shattered to fix...."
"what do you mean?"
"ermm well, we had to amputate both of you legs, from the knee down, that's probably why you can't feel them."
The doctor went out, I started to scream and then I started to cry.
It seemed like nothing was worth it and I just wanted to die but only for a second.
My mum came in, she looked devastated with tears rushing down her face.
She didn't say anything, then a doctor came in and said to mum "do you want to come and identify the body?"
She replied shakily "yyess, please!"
I shouted after her saying "what body?"
I was really worried now.
She just carried on out the doors in to the corridor.
The same doctor that went with my came in then my mum followed behind.
He introduced himself as Dr Hammond, he then pushed me into a ward, it was called the Critical Care Unit.
I heard mum whisper something about school to the doctor.
The thought of going to school without any legs made me feel physically sick.
Mum interrupted and said "sorry, honey, I have got to tell you something quite horrid, sadly, I've just identified a body, which was the person on the bike, it's your dad, I'm so sorry, darling."
"Oh, my, gosh, seriously, I can't believe it, that's two horrid things happened at the same time!"
I said in my head "well, I guess I didn't recognise him because of all his riding gear."
I felt so bad, I could of helped him, and if he hadn't rode to work he wouldn't of got hit by the bus, and I wouldn't be in the position I am now.
My rubbed my shoulder and wipe the tears from my eyes and said "you didn't know it's not your fault."
"but...."
"what have I said to you about saying but."
"okay, Sorry mum."
"We've got to concentrate on you now, we can't change what's happened."
The picked me up from the trolley bed and sat me in a wheelchair.
That's the first time I had seen myself without my bottom half of my legs.
I felt so self conscious.
The doctors told me I had to take a month off of school or until I can go back, and that they will write a official letter to the school.