Life is just a Dream

Chapter 2

I have been in many abusive relationships and I honestly don't know why I put myself in these types of situation.Still  knowing that there will never be a good out come in them. I have an amazing life with my grandmother as she treated me as her own. Even thought in the beginning she wasn't to excited about taking care of me , I think that our relationship has grown with a lot of respect like a mother daughter bond. Once she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer my life went into a sudden comma that I didn't think i would survive. As a 16 year old girl in these circumstances I was doing anything you could think of your not supposed to do. It didn't matter to me who was watching all I knew is that the woman who raised me is going through so much pain. It's killing me seeing her like this knowing that I can't help her in any way. After we found out that my grandmother had been diagnosed with Cancer she wouldn't let go of the idea of  a family gathering in Florida. It took me a while to realize that meant my Mom and Dad would be there making me sick to my stomach of that thought. All I could think of is how I was going to react when I see them, I have a feeling that it is not going to be the response anyone wants to witness.

After weeks of planning, and trying to get out of going to the family reunion. I realized that I can't let my parents decision affect me for the rest of my life. All I'm doing is proving the reason of why the didn't want me, and that is that I'm a little girl who cant do anything for herself that always let what everyone says effect her life . When I was planning the reunion I had to make a lot of phone calls enough of phone calls for me to have an excuse to text for the rest of my life. But every call I made the first thing they asked was " Lisa, is that you. I haven't heard from you for ever." But the one that stroke me the most was.... " Lisa, how is Matthew and how is  your son Jonathan."  Just hearing that name almost broke me into tears but I had to build up my strength to say " No, this is her daughter Lilly.I never knew that my mom and dad had another child, but what was really killing me is that the left me in the park but they can keep there other child that is supposed to be my brother that's a very great feeling to have. Almost every person I called sounded shock as is they didn't know that i existed. This made me question about the people I was surrounded by when I was a kid. My parents always told me that they were family from my mom side, but I just called just about every person on my mom side of the family besides my Mother. Something is going on and I wont rest until I find out what it is .

Later that night after I helped my Grandmother pack for our trip to Florida, my boyfriend called and asked if can come over. In my head I just was relived that he didn't sound angry as he usually does on the phone. We agreed to meet at the park where we usually snuck in and 'did it' where no one could find us. I tried to tell him that I haven't been filling that well at all and don't want to get him sick from with whatever I have, but as usual he doesn't listen and hangs up then phone. I left a little earlier knowing that I have to leave early in the morning for Florida. As soon as I got to the park I saw him standing there he looked so high that I was pretty scared to go over there. When he saw me his face went dark as if something had possessed his body. In fear I felt like running but my body wouldn't move. As he began to run toward me my stomach had this weird feeling and before I could do anything I threw up all over him. It took me a moment to register what happened but I could tell by the sounds of it that he was pissed and I was going to pay for what I had done. Before I could apologize for what had happened he slapped me. I had expected him to do something but not slap me that was not going to be OK. What he did next is what shocked me.I wanted to run but my body wouldn't move and all I can think is. This is were I'm going to die, in a park were no one can find me I am officially alone.