Fight

Chapter 1

In and out. Breath. That's suppose to be the easy part of anything. Our body's involuntary function we shouldn't have to think about. But right now? I am drowning in a sea of strange faces. No they are not looking at me but I can feel there curiosity growing. I adjust my shirt one more time and pull at the leg of my shorts. For the first time in my entire life I am the new girl. I am the girl that for the past 12 years of high school I sat and judged. I became the outsider. I put down my head and ducked through the ends and out of the twisted hallway.

When I finally arrived to the office I had been searching for, I shortened my stride and peeked meekly through the door. I entered through the wooden doorway still keeping my head down. "Emily Ryan. Here to pick up my schedule..." I trailed off in a soft voice avoiding all types of eye contact.

"Right here sweet cheeks!" The office lady began in her strong southern accent. "Your locker is right down the hall from the door right there. Here is your map of the school which I am sure after today you won't even need. Have a wonderful day and welcome to Pawnee City High School!"

I thanked her quietly than trotted out of the office observing my papers to find my locker. Next thing I knew it felt as if a brick had flew out of the air and wackos me on the head. I found myself sitting on the ground rubbing my head right next to a brown football."I am so sorry" a strange voice said as I looked up. Standing there was your typical high school jock. Now I know that sounds sterotypical but it was the truth. A tall boy with shaggy blonde hair and bright green eyes. "I have absolutely terrible aim. I was aiming for your ass not your head my bad" He said as he wiggled his eyebrows. "I must have been concentrating on it too hard."

"Ew" I said getting up and gathering my paper I had dropped. I had met guys like this time and time before. I was used to comments like this from cocky perverted teenage boys. It was sad how demeaning they treat others but I had came to the conclusion long before that it was just life.

"Let me introduce myself, Adam Lawson. But, I'm sure you already knew this." He laughed as a group of guys began to gather around him. I rolled my eyes and pushed on past rubbing my head. Just my luck to be starting school with a lump on my head. "Call me" he yelled after me. In his dreams.

I looked at the lockers looking for my number. I felt like a foreign immigrant as I tried to manipulate my way through the groups of people. I squeezed my way in between two larger guys to get to my padlock on my locker. As I pushed on both sides trying to make room for me to see, my efforts didn't even seem to phase them. Then again, I was only about 5' 4 and had the muscle strength of 5 year old girl. When I finally managed my way to putting in my new combination and shoving in my stuff, the bell rang signaling I really needed to speed it up and get to class. As I examined my map, I felt as if I was reading a whole different language. "need some help?" said a small voice as I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Um yeah could you tell me where a Mr. Watson's class is?" I asked as I spun around to see an average height red head with bright blue eyes.

"Yeah follow me." she motioned as she began to hastily walk down the halls. "So you new here?"

"Um yeah, its my first day." I said awkwardly holding my schedule.

"Well my names Lauren. I am gonna be straight with you. That lost puppy dog act you had going on in the hallway ain't gonna fly. You want help you ask for it. Now I understand you new and don't have any friends. I don't want a heartfelt background on why you here or about your past. I don't care if you were miss popularity or miss loner at your old school. You listen to my shit, I'll listen to yours sound like a plan?" She firmly said. I stopped dumbfounded wondering if all those words just came out of her mouth.

"Um.. sure?" I responded finally catching words back into my head.

"Perfect. Well heres our class, and we will continue this later." She wasn't kidding either. After class she showed me to the rest of them through out the day. It was a good thing we shared the same schedule otherwise I probably would have been lost. At lunch she corralled me to her table full of kids I had briefly noticed in our classes. Nobody asked about my past, most barely noticed I was there and that was ok. 

From watching Lauren throughout the day, a couple things were very clear. She was independent and knew exactly what she wanted. Even then, I knew she was gonna achieve great things. Someday that girl was gonna do something amazing. She may not have even known ,but I did. I look back now and know she was who I have to thank. She was the first person to show me that you have to have some kind of fight. You have to know you are great and you got to fight to keep her head above and be great.

English class 7th hour was probably the most absurd class I had ever been in. When I walked in, there was a deranged man sitting there without any shoes sitting on what looked to be an 60's carpeted stool. "My name is Mr. Kanatellie but please call me Mr. K. This year, you guys are Juniors. One last year before they make you get serious on what you want to be. This year you have ACT and SAT and all that other crap testing that doesn't measure anything at all. Yes, please argue with me about how it measures intellectual value. But, those don't tell you that I for one know Alec over there has an amazing voice. Or that Molly S. over there plays the violin flawlessly. It is not going to tell you that Lauren draws the most meaningful pictures. It will not tell you that Adam can throw a football for more than half a field. But this society we are in tells us that it matters and so there is that. Now that we got the deep stuff done, I only have 3 rules in this class: no texting, no cheating, and maybe learn something. This class will discover more than just the meaning behind the Crucible, or of mice and men but the meaning about yourself. You you really are. So that leads me to our first writing assignment these are due every Fridays you will get them on Mondays. This weeks topic... drum roll please" he began pointing to a boy in the front of the room. the boy began drumming on his desk with his drumsticks."Why are you here? You can take it as in this classroom and be literal or make it symbolical about why are you where you are in your life or why are you on earth what is your potential? That they choice is up to you. And, todays quote of the day before you leave because of these stupid shortened periods is- It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. Anyone got a guess who thats by?"

"Shakespeare" I mumbled under my breathe hoping nobody would hear.

"Correct who said that?"n He asked scanning the room for the brave soul who talked. "You in the back. The new girl right? because you were correct you get a bonus point on this writing assignment congrats." He announced as the bell rang and a scurried out of the class room.

As the day continued, Lauren began introducing me to people. My head felt almost like it was gonna explode a plethora of names spun around. It wasn't hard to see that here everyone knew everyone. After different people, Lauren would explain reasons why we hate them. It was nice having a guide. But, when that last bell rang I was ready to be gone. A growing pain began to open in my stomach.

The past couple months I really hadn't been a big people person. I was fine to be by myself. I enjoyed being by myself. Being by myself was really where I felt the most comfortable. It wasn't always this way. I used to crave human interaction. Maddie and I used to love just going to the mall and watching all the people go by. Sometimes, we would guess what each persons life was really like. But, those days are far gone. They are another page from another persons life.

As I got home, I was ambushed by my mother as soon as I came in. I knew she ment well ,but I didn't want to talk. I was ready to take a nap." Hey sweetheart. Tell me all about your day."

"It was nice" I responded short and sweet.

"Did you make any new friends? Meet any cute boys?" That was the thing with my mom. She was like an overly energetic high school cheerleader trapped in a 40 year old body.

"I'm just really tired." I responded and went to my room. Guilt filled me. How was it I had a good day? After the past couple months what part of my body made me deserved that? I didn't even feel the tears until they streamed down my face. I deserved to be alone. I deserve to have a terrible day. I don't deserve to make new friends. That would mean replacing her. I don't think I could ever bring myself to do that. I lifted my tired eyes to the empty boxes sitting around my bed. We had been there for a month and I hadn't been able to bring myself to open any one of them. My eyes became very heavy as if the sand man had suddenly decided it was my time to dream.