About to break

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I'm sitting in my room looking at my closet door and the black darkness coming through. It's crying out my name. I want to cut so badly the temptation is getting stronger. But I know I can't I'm a week clean. So I'm just sitting here on the edge of a tear thinking about Collin and death and how good cutting sounds but what's the point I do it just to know I'm alive although I want to be dead.
It sucks being me but hell its all I get right?

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