The Baby Project [#Wattys2018]

Chapter Three ~ New Beginning for us all

One Week.

Seven days. 

That's how long it's been since I became a mother. My heart still ached as I circled my head around that term. 

Mother (muhth-er) 

n. a women in relation to the child. v. to bring up or to give birth to.

John hasn't brought up moving into the apartment since showing it to me. Plus, I haven't brought myself to ask my own mother if I can move in with him. Temporarily of course. She'd say no and has good reason to. I'd say no too - but we're not talking about me.

Honestly, I'm afraid to be alone with him.

When I started this project, he is all I could talk about. I was stoked. Out of this world excited for this new beginning. Maybe it's the fact that he sees through my walls and makes me vulnerable at the same time?

Whatever the reason is - all that matters is that I love my son.

                                             "Hey baby boy - mommy has to go to school. Really hate leaving you.  That silly director kept calling you an 'it' or a 'thing'. I know right? You're an innocent little jumping bean. Who does she think she is?" I smile as I look down at Jack who gives me a sleepy grin.

Scooping him up, he eyes me adoringly. Then I stroll over to the rocking chair and sit down  holding him in my arms. "Mommy has to leave you with Nona. That's Italian for grandma my sweet bambino. I love you, Jack." I exclaim as I tap his little button nose. Squinting, he bares his smile before he lets out some gas.

This project is a hands-on experience of what parenthood really is. It'll teach us that we could become parents at any given time due to our choices and actions; and that we have to be prepared.

No one is ever prepared is what I'm told by my mother.

A child is a huge responsibility and to trust a bunch of fifteen year old's  - well that's something you read stories about.

What do I know about being a parent?

As I cradle him in my arms, I begin to hum a lullaby. Seconds later, my bedroom door swings open causing Jack to get a tad fussy. Funny right? I thought that a closed door meant leave me alone - but those rules don't seem to apply to me. A sense of privacy anyone? No, I didn't think so.

Small interruptions are nice every now and now.

Peering up, I see John nonchalantly leaning against the wooden door frame. Giving him the who-the-hell-do-you-think-you-are look - he quickly changes his posture. He's just staring at me with his ice blue eyes and it's hypnotizing.

Continuing to rock Jack back and forth in my arms, I push up from the chair and face John. You don't get walk in here like you own the place. This isn't Game of Thrones, Johnny. I feel like I am obligated to disturb this weird quietness, but I just stare at him.

                                                     "Yes?"

                                                      "Hello to you too."

Handing Jack over to John, I look for his pacifier. "You're the one that bombarded me - not the other way around. What are you even doing here? You're messing up the schedule we discussed. Yeah, I haven't given you an answer..." I say as I pop the pacifier into Jack's mouth. "But I don't feel it would be a good idea. Not really ready to commit to living with you. So, why are you here?"