The Baby Project [#Wattys2018]

Chapter Twelve ~ The Bitter Life

I cared.

You cared.

I guess I just didn't care enough.

Everything changed in a year.

It was now only September, but the air was crisp and filled with the sweet scent of apples. Pumpkins nearby were being carved and downstairs in the kitchen was my autumn candle lit for everyone to smell. This use to be my favorite time of the year and now it's my least favorite of them all.

My grades have been slowly declining with a C or below in all of my classes. English 1 Honors fell from an A to a 65.4 D in a matter of weeks since the start of the project. Sociology plummeted to a whooping 55 F, but that's because I didn't do my homework. I'd wrapped all of me into this project that it overruled and overturned my school life. Never in my life did I ever have an 'F' until this project came around.

The only positive thing about this project is that I got my son back. Though I guess it wasn't enough. He's still gone.

Today marks a new beginning to my already bitter life. How can I focus on my classes and improve my decrepit grades when I all I want is to see my son healthy and in my arms again? No. I'm doing this for him. Rome wasn't built in a day.

"Do you want to postpone going back to school? Your teachers will understand."

"Another reason for them to write me off and fail me?! No. I have to go to school mother. It's the law. I can't hide my face anymore."

"Do you...do you want me to drive you to school? Or are you just going to walk to school?" asked my mother in a highly concerned parent voice. I slam my fists down and swing around. Eyes almost bulging.

"This is your fault! Butt the hell out of my life forever. You're not my mother. No one should put their child in that predicament and you did. I can never forgive you. What you did was wrong! Now I will never see my son again. I hate you." I scream as I dart out the front door and cross the yard to get to my shortcut.

"Rosie!" echoed my mother as she ran after me, but I was long gone. Pausing before I disappeared into the morning shadows, I glance back at my house then continue onto school. The branches jar into my back as I swiftly bounce up before slugging the rest of the way to school. Sharp, stabbing pain shoots through my spine.

Stepping onto campus, everyone pointed and whispered and stared at me. I wasn't even a real person anymore. Not even human. Steadily, I pick up my pace bumping into people from all directions. Jogging up the stairs, I burst into an emotional tether as tears drown my face.

I just start running.

To a place that only I knew to shelter me from the wolves of high school.

I fell in love with both of the Manning brothers. Who does that? Who has a kid and pretends it never happened? A hypocrite. Maybe I should've died back in May when I plummeted down the stairs? Or when Luke was a jack-ass that one time? My life is far from perfect. It was not like I ever had a perfect life...but any happiness was strangled from me. People are mean. This world is cruel. I'm a disappointment. Maybe I should just disappear? I could run if I relinquish my rights. When has running ever solved anything? I could do it. Just run and vanish into the wind.

My son doesn't need me. A pathetic teen as his mother. Would I jeopardize everything to escape my cruel demons? I could leave a letter. A tape. A video. I could disappear and never return. My brain was struggling to breathe through the chaotic flood of thoughts that bombarded my mind. Could I walk away and forget everyone? Let my father win?