Us (boyxboy) ✧Book 1✧

✧Thirty-Three✧

Jamie

He's absolutely miserable.
Which is what I had expected, seeing as he had just come home from chemo. I drove him there, waited for him to be finished, and then proceeded to drive him home. Now he was less than peacefully, sleeping in our bed.
But, now I was starting to feel more and more paranoid, just due to the fact that he now had another tumor. And then to tell me not to worry? Did he know who I was?
I was mostly just scared that he wasn't getting any better, but I knew everyday isn't promised. There was just so much to think about, and 90% of it I really didn't want to.
But I had to think about all the good things that were happening, too. He was getting treatment. He was gonna get better. Granted, the babies would probably be here before he'd officially be declared cancer free, but everything would come at it's own time.
While he was sleeping, I decided to take the time to work on the boys' room. Last night, we went to go buy another crib and we'd spent all night putting it together. I put the sheet on it and decided to fix the bedding up, we couldn't find a different one we liked to go with the first, so we ended up just getting a complete matching set.
I couldn't help the wheezing feeling in my stomach, I was just so excited.
I managed to put the new toys and clothes away, sanitized all the bottles, and cleaned the rest of the house while I was at it.
"Jamie,"
I had practically jumped out of my own skin as I heard Damon's thick, husky voice from behind me. "How are you feeling?"
He shrugged, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, he'd had the worn and torn blanket since he was a little kid, and now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure it had been lying close to him in those pictures he didn't want me to see. "I feel...okay for now, still just kinda tired."
During his treatment, they made sure his numbers were stable, and then proceeded to give him the pre-drugs and then the real thing through an IV drip and he mostly slept through it.
"Are you sore at all?"
"Not yet,"
"Hungry?" I asked. He shrugged, and then shook his head. "You haven't eaten anything all day. Can you at least drink something? What if I warmed up broth?"
He hesitated, "I can try."
I kissed him on the temple and then warmed up beef broth in a cup before giving it to him. He scrunched his nose at it, but proceeded to drink it anyways, probably so that I wouldn't nag him. At least he knew I nagged with love.
"You wanna go lay back down with me?" He finished the broth.
"Of course." I kissed his forehead and set the empty cup in the dishwasher. I followed him up the stairs and climbed in bed next to him.
"Are you alright?" He chewed on his bottom lip, left arm sprawling out so that I could lay my head on it, his right one was gauzed up from the IV.
I nodded and interlocked my fingers with his by my head. "I'm just trying not to worry too much."
He smiled and chuckled, letting his eyes close heavily. It was only a few seconds before he was falling back asleep.
"I love you." I smiled at him.
"I love you, too." His voice surprised me, I thought he was already asleep. "Sorry I can't kick this tumor's ass."
I shook my head. "You can't control it."
"I'm sorry I didn't take any of this more seriously in the beginning. Maybe if I had started treatments sooner—"
"Babe, stop it." I sat up. "It's over, it's done with, and we can't go back."
"But what if I can't keep my promise, Jamie? What if I end up...what if I end up leaving you to raise the babies by yourself? What if I die? I'll miss everything. Their birthdays, their graduations, their weddings, their own babies...I don't wanna miss any of that."
I let out a heavy sigh and buried my face into his chest. "Stop thinking about all of that. You aren't gonna die. And if you do, I'll bring you back and kick your ass."
He laughed at that. "I wouldn't even doubt that." He was quiet for a few minutes, and I thought he'd fallen asleep, but then he said, quietly, "If I do end up killing over—" I could've smacked him for saying it that way. "—I want you to be find someone else who makes you happy. I want you to date again and get married again, and even maybe have more babies."
"No!" Now I could really smack him. "I won't replace you. No one can replace you. It was always gonna be you and me, remember?" The thought of being with another man made me shutter. "It was always gonna be us."
"Jamie, your life has to go on. It can't just stop because I'm dead."
"Can we just stop talking about this. You're not dead, and you're not gonna die. Now shush."
He kissed the side of my face tenderly. "I just want you to be happy is all."
"You make me happy."

I sniffled hard, my nose threating to run. I buried my face back into his chest and was soon lulled to sleep by the sound of his heartbeat.