Here We Go Again

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Here We Go Again

"Five minutes" I warned Tessa as I pushed her out of my room.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuck.

"Think Blake, think." I mumbled to myself hoping that it would spark up an idea of what I would say to him. Hey Ray, I'm pregnant and everyone knows but you.

No, no, no. That's awful.

I hear a knock on my door and roll my eyes knowing that it's Tessa trying to make me more nervous than I already am. I swear this girl gets a kick out of torturing me.

3 more minutes!

I feel my body tense up and my anxiety starts to build. What the hell am I going to do? In just a few short minutes I'll be face to face with the man that I walked away from just six months ago.

I sit there for a few seconds and think about how this is going to play out. I already know he's going to be angry. I've been trying to keep the baby a secret from him and I always contemplated if I was making the right decision. I always just came back to the idea that it was safer for him not to know. Who knows who else is trying to get revenge on him, what if they try to hurt my baby? I shiver at the thought of someone intentionally hurting my baby. After seeing what Tessa went through after she lost her baby, I can't see myself being strong enough to handle it.

I look down and sigh then realize my shirt is hugging my body, specifically my slightly swollen tummy. I frantically run to my closet not knowing how much time I have left and grab the baggiest shirt I could find and slip it on. I don't want this to be the first thing that we speak about because I already know that it's not going to end well.

I hear my door open and look over to see the man that I used to call mine.

Wow. He's as gorgeous as ever, I take a minute to soak in his presence letting the memories flood into my head. Ive missed him so much.

Ray closes the door and walks straight to me and pulls me into his chest and hugs me tightly. My first instinct was to push him away but instead I hug him back, feeling overwhelmed by emotions rushing through me. His body radiated a type of warmth that I only felt with him. It was a feeling that I've been missing for the past six months. If only I didn't hide this from him, then maybe this feeling would last.

"I've missed you so much" He whispers in my ear before he pulls away from the hug then stares into my eyes.

The way he looks at me makes me melt, his eyes filled with love and raw emotion.

My vision starts to cloud, tears threatening to spill out. I feel so guilty.

"I-i'm sorry" I manage to let out.

"It's okay, we-"

"No, no it's not okay!" I say angrily cutting him off. My hormones are off its rocker, i'm spilling faster than I thought.

"What's not okay than?" He says while studying my face, trying to figure out the next pending outburst.

I sit there for a moment, debating what I should say next. Maybe I should say it really fast or spell it out. He's smart enough to get it right?

"Impregnant" I say as quickly as possible. It probably came out sounding like gibberish but soon enough I saw his facial expression change into one I couldn't read. Well that didn't work. Shit.

"Did I hear that correctly?" He says clearly confused but at the same time he sounded like he was about to lose his marbles.

"Depends on what you heard" I look up to him trying to read his emotions. Nothing.

He looks at me then places his hand on my stomach and almost instantly moves away from me.

"What the fuck? You dump me and get knocked up by someone else? Was our relationship a fucking joke?!"

My mouth drops in disbelief. I can't believe he really thinks that I would do that. i love him and only him. But I did keep it a secret. Fuck. Why am I so dumb sometimes?

I go to open my mouth to say something but Ray already shot out of my room. I sit there debating if I should run after him or wait for him to come back.

"No love making in here" I look over to see Tessa peeking through the door examining my face. She lets out a deep sigh "Go after him"

I nod then get up and run downstairs and out the door not caring that I look like I have no pants because of the gigantic shirt I threw on. This will totally win him over, just running outside practically naked.

After a few blocks I decided it was better for me to walk, I was feeling really tired already and I needed some energy left to fight with him. Great use of energy right?

I kept walking and thinking about all the things I needed to say, but then suddenly a cloth masked with a familiar smell was smacked on my face. I tried to scream and fight back but it was no use. Just when I thought things could be different, everything went dark.


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