Darkness

PART 3: The Answer

I decided a different strategy that night. I decided not to get scared of those voices, rather face them and get my answers. I was a bit more excited then scared now, that voice, that dream, they were guiding me somewhere and I had to find it.
I sat down on my side chair, well my room was like a small place, a bed in between, on one side I had a small study table and on the other side there was my closet. At the front of my bed there was a window through which I used to look down.
I took out a piece of paper and a pencil the decided to wrtie whatever comes in my mind (what those voices were trying to tell me). I thought for moment about those voices from last night, they were warning me about going out and today when I went out a saw a complete foil of what I saw in that nightmare, " there's got to be some reason behind it, GOD help me figure it out Please..." I said it with a sigh and agony in it.
I heard that voice again, the same voice, but it wasn't clear or grumpy or husky, like it was last night, rather it was clumsy and weak, " the answer lies within you " the voice occured to me in a trembling tone.
What Answer, I started to think, focusing on each and every asoect of my life. I had no clue what to think, what's the answer that lies within me. The agitation, agony and frustration took over my mind and everything started to flush out of mind, I threw the pen and the paper away from me and let the bed swallow me.
In the shallowness of the night, I was looking for that light, which I saw in that nightmare before. However I couldnt find it. It was lost somewhere-it was lost within me- I was unaware of that thought but when I focused more, about the nightmare and the contrast very next morning, things began to clear up in my mind and made me think even more. The destruction I saw in the nihghtmare was something I only imagined. The tree which rotted in the nightmare, I used to abuse it everyday because there was a bird's nest over it which used to throw dirt on my car. The pond, I hated it because my cricket ball used to sunk in it and our game used to end because of if. The grass, well it used to ruin my sunday because every sunday mom used to wake me up and make me cut it. The wind I used to curse it because it always toppled my house of cards and last but not the least, my mother, I used to scream on her, I used to mock her on not giving me enogh money to spend, for not marrying a rich guy for trusting my father and ruining her and my life, for not sending me to the best school, I had so many complains from her. So, God showed that what would be life without all of them. God cleared a bigger aspect of picture for me by potraying the problems of the smaller one. I wonder if mom wouldn't be there who would've saved me from the creepy monster. Basically, the darkness I saw in the dream was the darkness that lied within me, my heart and my soul. God gave me the glimpse of a life without them, and brought me to the right path. I wonder if I had not thought about the foil the very next day, I would had never came to a conclusion and my future would have been destroyed.
That night, I promised to my self that i would never every take anything for granted and would never curse anyone because now i knew that the actual problem is within us. We always blame others for our problems and curse them for not helping us out. However, we should curse ourselves for not understanding the real issue, actually we are not helping ourselves. Nowadays, there is a very great escape out of all the problems is to blame it on others.
     A lot changed in my life after that night, I remember the following morning was amazing, I felt like a feather floating in the atmosphere free from all the needs, broken from somewhere and set free to live the real life. The air never seemed so fresh, the voice of those birds was like a merry song, the water in the pond was Crystal clear. I woke up my self went down and coocked a suprise breakfast for my mom, she woke up and i presented her, her favourite pan cakes with honey on top with a cup of lattè. She was amazed, and was about to speak up when I suddenly intrupted her and gave her a Strong hug. Tears started to trickle over my crimson cheeks. The tears of joy, I wanted to safe them forever... The walk to school was amazing, that day I didnt notice about the contrast, I was just observing everything and was so happy to see everything flourish and I finally got answer to another question that why has God created a foil of every thing, it is becuse God wants to see us which path we choose and if we go on the wrong path, He'll be there to help us out, we just have to keep faith in HIM.
I was lost in my own merry thoughts when suddenly I saw that spot of bright light in the sky, it was so mesmarizing that I stoped walking and started to stare at it like a small baby observing his new toy, as it came closer to me, closer and closer and disappeared beneath my chest.