WHEN WERE MARRIED - BOOK ONE - THE LONG FALL

Four Little Words Part 10

It was a Friday and we were just preparing for a round of trials that were going to kick off with jury selection the next Monday. There are always ten million little details that have to be ironed out on that kind of Friday so I worked my ass off and I didn't even turn the lights off in my office until 10:30 p.m.

It was 11:30 p.m. before I got home. As usual the house was dark and silent. I looked on the fridge and saw notes from Bill Jr. saying he was spending the night with a friend and one from Kelly saying she was going with friends to a concert and would be spending the night with a friend's parents. Both kids had left contact numbers and I quickly called both numbers. Their stories checked out and I knew both sets of parents so I rested easy about them.

Where was Debbie? Her Nissan was gone. I went by the den and up to the bedroom. She was nowhere to be seen. I began to wonder why that surprised me. And for the very first time, I started to wonder who I might contact to handle a divorce if that was the way it turned.

I shook my head as I realized what I was thinking. A divorce, a few days after one argument? What the hell had happened?

I almost reached for my cell phone to call her. And then stopped myself. I knew it was stupid, but I couldn't make myself dial her number. I hadn't done anything wrong. She was the one who sparked everything and then made it worse by her goddamn unbelievably suspicious reactions. Maybe I shouldn't have accused her of cheating, but dammit, you'd have to be a complete moron not to wonder what was going on after the way she had acted.

She was wrong. She had frozen me out. She was out with people I didn't know, riding home with strange young men, kissing them. She was being friendly and wonderful with everyone except the poor slob who had spent 17 years working his ass off to make a good life for her and the kids. It shouldn't be me making the first move.

Tonight I didn't even have to think about what to do. I barely had energy to get into the shower, wash off the grime and sweat (and yes, even attorneys get sweaty during a long day) and hit the bed. And again I was unconscious instantly.

I had one of those moments where you don't know quite where you are when you first wake up. A few seconds later I realized I was in my own bed. But something was strange. And then it hit me. I was alone in bed. I looked over at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was 10 a.m. I glanced over the bed. She had never been in it.

I rolled out of bed and headed downstairs. Maybe she had come in late and slept in the den. Maybe she had gotten up and was cooking breakfast. Not that she did that much anymore, but it was possible.

The house was bigger, and quieter, and emptier than seemed possible. Her Nissan was still gone. There was no sign she had ever come home the previous night. I toured the house three times, but it didn't change the facts. I tried to remember if anything like this had ever happened in our 17 years of marriage. I knew it hadn't.

One fight, four little words, and it seemed like our marriage was crashing down like a sand castle as the tide washed in. Was it possible to be so damned blind that I had completely missed all the signs for months, or years?

I could have started calling around. But, I was the prematurely old, sexually unattractive, clueless husband whose wife was spending the night out without any word on where or what she was doing. Fuck her.

I got dressed and headed for a nearby Waffle House. Al l their food items were cardiac health hazards, but I loved their fluffy omelets and right now I didn't give a damn about watching my waist line. It looked like it was too late for that anyway.

It was nearly noon and I was washing the last of the omelet and crisp bacon down with a fourth cup of coffee when my cell phone range. I automatically answered it, figuring it was one of the kids.

"Bill."

I swallowed the last of the coffee and answered, "Hello Roy."

Roy Bascomb was my father-in-law. We'd always gotten along pretty good. He owned a tire store on the Northside and had a few rental properties as well.

"Hi, Bill. I...uh...I tried to call you at your house, but I didn't get an answer."

"I'm not there."

"Yeah, I figured. Uh, Bill, I just wanted to call and let you know...Debbie is at our house right now."

"Debbie, that's interesting. I used to know a girl named Debbie. We talking the same person?"

There was a pretty good silence and then, "She told us that you guys were....having some problems and that you might be....upset...when I called you. But I didn't want you to worry about where she was."

"Now why would I be worried, Roy? Just because she doesn't come home one night, all night, and doesn't leave me a word to let me know if she's dead or alive or fucking a dozen guys somewhere? You're acting like I actually have a wife, or something, instead of a woman who spends my paycheck and then goes off with other men."

"Bill, stop talking like that. You're talking about Debbie. Your wife. Our daughter. The mother of your children. You know she's not...running around on you."

"I do, Roy? How do I know? She's off a lot of nights and I only have her word about what she's doing. And night before last I see a young guy she works with drop her off at 11 p.m. and she kisses him goodnight. She tell you about that? By the way, what time did she get to your house last night?"

"God, I think I'm seeing what she's worried about. She said you guys had a fight about something stupid and you accused her of cheating and haven't been willing to say a word to her since then.

'And you're mistaken about seeing her kiss anybody. She told us about that meeting. It was a college meeting, and the guy who dropped her off was a friend. A lady she works with picked her up but had an emergency and had to leave early so the guy you saw volunteered to take her home. There was no kissing.

"As to when she came here, Bill, she came over straight from the school, at 5:30 p.m. and she was here all night. Unless you think we're lying for her. Is that how far around the bend you've gone?"

"Roy, she's your daughter and I know you're going to support her. Although, I would think after 19 years of knowing me and seeing that I've been a good husband and good father to your grandchildren, you might give me a little benefit of the doubt.

"And if she was going to see you, why didn't she leave a note. Or call. Or do any damn thing so I wouldn't wake up this morning and believe she spent the night out with somebody else, and start thinking seriously about how we're going to divide up our assets."

I felt the anger start to rise inside me, a black rising tide, and fought to keep my voice calm.

"And come to think of it, if she's so concerned, why the hell isn't she talking to me right now? Why does she have to get her father to call me?"

After a moment he said apologetically, "I know she was wrong not to let you know where she was, Bill. I told her she should have. And she's not on the phone because she doesn't want to talk to you.

"I have to tell you, I've known you guys since before you were married, and I've never her seen her like this before. She is so pissed with you. I think you really hurt her when you...accused her of being unfaithful. I don't know...I don't know if those are words you can take back."

I took a last swig of my coffee.

"Well let me see if I follow this. She said a few words that upset me, but I'm supposed to get over it, and I said a few words that upset her and she's acting like the marriage is over because I said them. Is that right?"

When he didn't answer, I said, "Well, if you would, pass on a message from me to your daughter. Tell her if that's the way she feels, I don't give a damn if she ever comes back. Oh, and be sure and tell her this, word for word: Fuck you!"