WHEN WERE MARRIED - BOOK ONE - THE LONG FALL

FOUR LITTLE WORDS Part 7

An alarmed expression flashed across her face and she quickly grabbed a chair and pulled it up to within a foot of my desk, close enough she could reach out and touch me.

"Oh, shit, Bill. Is it that bad?"

"I think it could be."

"Tell me."

I thought about it, but in the light of day I couldn't bring myself to give her the details. The more I thought about it, the whole fuss over four little words seemed even crazier than Debbie has said last night. If you weren't there, if you couldn't see her eyes, couldn't hear her voice, it did seem like I was very much exaggerating what had happened."

"We just had a – a – like a fight. Over something stupid. But..."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter. But, I want you to answer me honestly. I'm going to ask you a few questions. Can you do that? I won't get mad. Or upset. I need a woman to talk to, honestly."

She licked her red lips for a moment before answering.

"I hate this kind of thing, Bill. You say you won't get upset, but honesty always hurts."

"I need brutal honesty, Cheryl. I think I've been a good boss, and a good friend. And I think I proved to you that I like and respect you enough not to do anything – that would jeopardize our friendship. I'd like you to do the same."

She reached out and took one my hands in hers.

"You have been a good guy, Bill. Ask away."

"Have you ever thought – when you weren't drunk – about going to bed with me? Would you sleep with me if I really hit on you hard? And do I excite you – as a man – at all?"

She just stared at me for a moment.

"I swear to God I'm not hitting on you. But I need to know."

She looked down at the table, then faced me squarely.

"A few times. When I was between boyfriends or really, really horny. But honestly, I never thought about you seriously. You're not on my short list. You're male. But, you don't – shit this is hard – you really don't excite me. I admire you. I like you. But, I don't get – I don't want to be indelicate, but I don't get wet thinking about you. I guess the bottom line is I could see us in a situation where we might wind up in bed. Another office party might do it. But it would only be a one-time thing."

"So I don't really excite you? I'm not a hunk?"

This time she looked down at the desk a lot longer before raising her eyes to mine.

"You're not a hunk, Bill. Sorry. You're a little overweight, and flabby, and you're losing your hair and no matter what women say, that's important. Balding is not beautiful to most of us. You're a tiger in the courtroom, and professionally everybody looks up to you, but in the bedroom...I'd say you're just another out of shape middle aged guy."

She squeezed my hand and looked for a moment like she wanted to cry.

"That was probably too much honesty, right? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

I was able to smile at her, even though it had hurt.

"What about Debbie. And I want you to be just as honest. Is she as hot as I think she is? And have you ever seen guys hitting on her at parties? How did she act when they did?"

This time she took a lot longer to answer.

"She's hot, Bill. What can I say. She's tall and blonde and she's got those big boobs and gorgeous legs. Every party I've ever been at where the two of you were there, guys hit on her all the time when you're not around."

"I'm not surprised she's popular. She is hot. Now for the $64,000 question. And this is where I need you to be honest. What does she do when they hit on her?"

She looked down again.

"I really don't want to answer this, Bill. Please don't make me."

"I need to know."

"Is this what it's all about. You think she's – with somebody?"

"I don't know, but I think she could be."

"I guess I've been at six or seven office parties where you guys have shown up, and there was that one year you invited me and my date to that Christmas party at UNF. Like I said, guys are always hitting on her, putting their arms around her, patting her ass, trying to sneak a kiss. Usually she just shrugs it off, puts their hands where they're supposed to be, gets them laughing and walks away. She's pretty good.

"A few times, very few, I've seen her in what seemed to a pretty good clinch in a corner or a hallway, but it's not a deep throat and the guys don't have their hands inside her clothes. I've seen a few of them petting her. But, Bill, to be honest, unless you want to walk about with a cattle prod most women have had that happen to them. That's why you wear stiletto heels. They're wonderful for cooling off guys who get too hot.