Codename: WILD

Chapter Thirteen

*Quick note before you read this. Mathew is/wasn't in love with Connor, he was just his really good friend- his best friend, his family. He wasn't in love with him, but he did love him*

Mathew's point of view

It is possible to cry so much that you use up all of your tears and can no longer cry? cause that's how I feel right now.

I'm at Connor's funeral, dressed in a suit and tie as I sit and wait to give my speech. Troye finally finishes his speech about how he didn't know Connor all that well, but he still died to save everyone and spoke about how he died a hero. Then it's my turn to speak. I get to my feet, walking up to the front, right beside his closed casket.

As Troye walks past me he gives my hand a squeeze. He takes a seat in the front row, beside the seat I was sitting in not too long ago. I take the microphone from its stand, holding it close to my mouth while I look down at the speech I wrote last night.

"I-I uh Connor Franta was.." I glance down at my written speech again, words cannot express how deeply sorrowful I am over his death. I crumple my speech, tossing it to the ground. "You know what, I stayed up half the night writing this.. this speech, and I-I just don't feel like the words can express how I feel. Connor Franta was my best friend and partner on a lot of my missions. He's saved my life numerous times. He deserves so much more than the speech I wrote.. He deserved to live, but sadly he's gone. He's gone but will forever live on in our hearts." I look down, hesitating a second before I just decide on doing it. He would've wanted his funeral to be special.

"Troye, would you please come over here?" I bite my lip to suppress my tears.

"Of course, Mathew." He smiled sadly, getting up from his chair. He came up next to me, giving my hand a comforting squeeze. I get on the tips of my toes as he crouches down. I place my lips beside his ear to ask a favor of him.

"Will you please sing Angel by Sarah McLachlan with me? It'd mean the world to me.. and to Connor.." I sniffle, pouting slightly as I try to keep my lip from quivering.

"Yeah, yeah. I think he'd really appreciate it." He grabbed his phone from his pocket, putting on the karaoke version on Angel. He held the speaker on his phone up to the mic. I cleared my throat as I prepared. "I'll go first." I mumbled, waiting for the music to start.

I take a deep breath when the music starts and it's time to sing. I don't have a very nice singing voice, but I'm gonna do it for Connor. Its the least I can do after he risked his life to save for me and everyone else.

"Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day,"

I squeeze my eyes shut, waiting for Troye's beautiful voice to resonate throughout my ears and body, to rattle my bones and shatter my whole being; to make me cry like a baby.

He swallows, tightly closing his eyes as his part of the music plays.

"I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight,"

he looks to me, completely ignoring the crowd of agents and allies that are seated directly in front of us. I turn to him as I hesitantly sing the next part of the song.

"In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here,"