Fortuity

Dear Reality

12 September 2014

Dear Conscious,

It's been only 1 day, a single day, with completely no idea of what's happening right now. Everything is a messed up blur you desperately yearn to erase. But things can't be changed so easily anymore. Engraved in stone, unchangeable, as if testing you, "So what now?"

No second chances.

Bethan's sniffs as she tries to muffle the constricting feelings from deepening in her chest. Her tears sting as she clutches onto the bed's handrails for help.

Or so she thought.

She can barely move her muscles now. Much less bring herself to sit up. Why can't she do such a simple movement? Didn't she just flawlessly execute the spin? Why can't everything just resume the way it was anymore? Why can't everything just be all right? Why is everything suddenly so wrong? She reaches forward and catches sight of it.

The pair of skates rests against a backpack sitting next to the medicine cabinet. Its nylon-like material has already lost its original glossy white color. Now it stays a faded faint color of  grey, seemingly blending into the hospital's walls. Soon, the material will degenerate disappear into the atmosphere. But what doesn't change is the glint of light that is reflected by the metal blades of the skates.

Metal just doesn't break easily, like how passion takes a long time to die down, passion cannot be controlled, but passion can be lost, putrefied and never to be touched on again. With the help of time we never know if lost for the better. Sometimes, you impose the rule of dismissal but the inkling from within your heart smoulders, as if the devil were shredding your soul apart. However, under intense heat, metal still does not break, it melts and it takes another form, but does not dematerialize.

Cold. All I feel is raw cold.

I pull the blankets tightly, as if the tightness of the blankets wrapping me would prevent warmth from leaving my being. The cold used to comfort me. It used to be a familiar feeling from the ice beneath as the chilly wind gently brushes across your face. It was the combination of the chill and the sound of laughter on constant replay in the background, when you begin to associate the cold with fun. Cold meant the incoming winter, the incoming snow and the incoming excitement. Soon, you decide to greet the excitement every week, be it summer or spring. It was your addiction.

Where's everyone? Where is the laughter? They're gone.

Have they left me? Am I alone now?

The cold seeps in despite the thick material wrapped around me.

This was the first time I felt cold.

A/N: Hello everyone! Thanks for reading please remember to vote and comment! I have no idea how I got the time to write this but 

THANK YOU <3