i wrote this

12

This night is soo beautiful. The sky is clear. The stars are bright and the city lights are just magical how they glitter in the darkness. I was always fascinated as a child by those lights. You know it is the perfect night and I added some lana del rey songs and zedd, a cup of my favorite drink and a cigarette. It was calm yet beautiful.

But then the sun started to rise and I found myself resenting that I don't want my perfect night to end. I had a rough day and I felt the gods rewarded me with this breath taking tableau. And that stupid giant star came to ruin that.

I started to think maybe that is the case for most people, they get too sucked into the darkness they started to enjoy it or at least familiarize with it, that they unintentionally started to dislike the light. The dark side is mesmerizing, slowly pulling you in till you can't get out, or someone had pushed you in and you lost the way back to you. The darkness does get comfortable after sometime. And the light is just so bright, everything in the open, no hideouts.

Maybe that is why you don't want to get better because you got used to it. Maybe that is why you spiked the pill the doctor prescribed to you. You just don't want to get better. Because getting better is scary. I mean what is next you finally got over your disease and then what? Who knows? It Is that unknown that scare the crap out of you.

Maybe that is why I hate the dawn, it always mean a new day. Well in my life it means a new way to be disappointed. It represents countless opportunities and surprises and I am not ready for a new day yet. The night was so beautiful everyone was asleep so I have no need to hide but now they will slowly, one by one start to wake up and I have to put on my mask back again.

Maybe you aren't ready to fight to get better but I know I am not too.

ȿ