Ryden

What happend when i left

" right after you left Brendon did all these weird things, he kept your picture still on the band cover he kept your name still on songs, he told everyone about you, he broke up with Sarah for a while, but he didn't tell anyone. It was all just weird for a little bit the band wasn't on tour . "

"Wtf that's just weird ".

" spent countless hours debating whether to call you or text you to ask you back into the band. He called your ex-girlfriend to try to locate you . He called your old boss at chipotle. He's hasn't been to chipotle since. He refused to proposeto Sarah in case you Came back and wanted him I think he actually loved you for a little bit. Every time anyone mentioned you he would look at us like we were talking about Satan, Sarah tried to propose to him to get him to marry her but he said no . everything they tried to do he wouldn't do . For a little bit we thought the band was over . And one day Brendon went up to Sarah grabbed her kissed her for about five minutes straight. We had no idea what was going on Sarah was astonished. He said he would propose soon he just hadn't found the perfect timing .He claimed he wanted a restraining order against you. It was weird he hadn't seen you in months and you haven't talk to him since that day. It's like all he wanted was to get away from you even though you were never there.
For the three months you were out of the band. he was in residential for three weeks for insomnia, vivid hallucinations, and psychotic actions . Sarah broke up with him when he was there and said he needed serious fucking help those are her exact words . 12 weeks of not seeing you that long but three of those weeks obsessing over you three of those weeks in a mental hospital and the rest with Sarah but he wanted to go to Colorado to torture you. He didn't even know if you'd come he just hoped you'd hear about it . "

"Why would he do if he didn't like me he said he wasn't homosexual his exact words were I'm not homosexual  I hope I didn't lead you to think that I'm so sorry. He said that to me I didn't even get to eat my chili I just laughed because I said I have to go fix something when I had to fix a broken heart but it took me a long time to fix it and it was never fully repaired after the damage he's done. He didn't even have the courage to say what he done he couldn't even tell me to my face. It just broke my heart to know that someone I loved for months and years just says a sentence and everything is gone.
All those fantasies everything that was it wasn't real gone I can't even say what it was that broke it was in wasn't my heart wasn't anything I can explain I just know that it felt like shit and took me a while I didn't even love Ashley , I dated her so Brendon might get jealous and want me to be his .
God I feel like fucking shit now that I know this. He does all that yet he can't even say while your standing onstage he could've said something Sarah was there he could've told her we could've broken it off but he didn't he waited and waited and waited and I didn't even know I had to have my fiancé Tell me . I don't know anything anymore."

"Ryan I'm just glad to have you with me and not all that craziness with I Brendon .That Was just weird but now I know you're mine and soon will be together forever till we grow old and we can forget about the shit and move on."