No Matter What

No Matter What {part two}

The porch light flipped on quickly flooding my backyard with light.

"Oh shit." I mumbled quietly and stood up staying as best as I could to the shadows. "You gotta go, stay down and low 'til your through the gate. Kay." I looked at Thomas and quickly pulled him to his feet  and pressed myself against him to kiss him softly.

When I kissed Thomas time stood still. The moments took an eternity but, then again, they were gone in a flash. Kissing Thomas was one of the few joys I had in my life, where for once I felt like I was complete and whole. I pulled back slightly and looked back into his shiny blue eyes. My stomach knotted up instantly at the pain I was causing him on top of everything in his life.

"Go!" I whispered and quickly moved to the edge of my house and whipped my phone out quickly dialing Sarah's number and not waiting for her to answer to start talk. We both knew the drill...a call with random talking, play along because you were doubling as a cover for the person calling.

"Yeah the mall sounds like a great idea." I lied to her over the phone.

"Great. Say 2:30?"

"Can you pick me up?" I saw out of the corner of my eye that my mom was standing on the edge of the deck listening to the conversation. Her left hand propped on her hip as her foot tapped furiously t the wooden boards.

"You okay Rach? Do I need to come over?"

"No Sarah, everything has been wonderful." I knew she could hear it in my voice that everything was not wonderful but I couldn't let my mother hear that.

"Okay Rachael, love ya girl I'll talk to you in the morning it's late and I'm tired Kennan kept me up all night last night so I am crashing. Later."

 "Night, tell Kennan goodnight too. Bye"

I hung up and sighed softly. When did my life become so difficult. I traced patterns in the sand with my toe for a moment and leaned over and wrote my name with my index finger. Rachael Karsyn Allan and drew a heart beside it. The breeze tousled the leaves about in the trees. The stars twinkled above me and I couldn't help but remember what Thomas had told me all those months ago. It was one of the first nights we had started talking and we had gone to a party together. Somehow we ended up outside and alone. We had been friends for a long time so I didn't really but much thought in it but, something about him that night was difference. Whenever I looked at him I got butterflies and did not want to look away. We had talked for a while when I felt his hand wrap lightly.  I thought my heart might beat out of my chest it was beating so fast and hard. the cool spring winds surrounded us and I wasn't sure if it was Thomas or the cool making me shiver at this point.

"See that star?" Thomas pointed out a particularly bright spot in the sky above the tree we were sitting in. "Whenever you feel lost, scared or alone, Just look at it...and know that I'm always with you. Anytime and anywhere. Forever and always."

I looked down at my hand and turned it over several times looking at it. Somehow it just didn't look the same with out Thomas's fingers tangled with mine. Just like I wasn't the same without him here to hold me together when everything fell apart.