Ok, it's about time...
I meant to say this sooner, but I kept forgetting. In fact, I'm starting to withdraw from Wattpad more frequently. I'm trying as hard as I can to stay off social media or anything online, but I can't help it. I want to keep updating my book. The reason why I haven't been active on Wattpad that much is cause...
Ok, you know how I said that Ash has schizophrenia? Well, Ash is me when I was younger. She's my alter, but at the same time, she's just a past version of me. In my profile description, I did say that I was trans - female to male. So I was fem at one point and I had brown short hair, brown eyes, and social anxiety just like Ash.
So Ash is one of my many personalities. I have different personalities depending on what mood or situation I'm in. If I'm struggling or suffering from my schizophrenia, I'm Ash. If I'm in a happy and wild and crazy mood, I'm Scarlet. If I'm depressed or angry, I'm Luke.
There, I said it. I'm schizophrenic. That's the main reason why I'm not updating very frequently. I'm usually only active on Wattpad at night, because then (in reality) I'm alone and I get to use my iPad/iPhone. But I always feel like I'm not alone. Seriously this is KILLING ME. I HATE IT
I don't know what kind of treatment there is for this. My mom wants to take me to therapy but what good will that do?
I was developing schizophrenia a couple of months ago, and during these past 3 weeks, I've been hallucinating. I know I'm sorry it sounds stupid, but it's true.
I visioned a dead body in my room once. It was the scariest shit ever. It was just really dark and bloody but it wasn't really there, they were just messing with my mind. I don't know how to stop this but sometimes writing in my art book or uploading my drawings can help me calm down because I know that I have you guys..
Especially ChubbyCutiePanda :3
But SERIOSULY, IM IN SO MUCH PAIN AND STRUGGLE
LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW
they won't shut up and they can't shut up so Ive pretty much just given up and I can't deal with this anymore. I'll update tomorrow. Goodnight guys 😰
