It never stops

Secrets

Have you ever had a secret.? Not the kind that you tell your bestfriends, but the kind that you don't tell anybody.? The kind that you push to the back of your head and try your hardest to forget.? Well I do. It's a big secret. I've never told anybody. Well I tried telling someone once but then a couple days later when they asked I acted like I had no idea what they were talking about. Have you ever had the urge to just tell somebody all about it.? You've kept the secret to yourself for years but you just want to tell somebody every detail of it.? Well I do. I've stopped myself from telling my secret. This secret, if I told anybody, I don't even know what would happen. I'm not going to  tell you guys my secret. Because I know some of you and I don't want you to know about it. I don't want people to react. To tell. But I want to talk about it. I want to tell you how every once in a while the memory comes back to me. And I cry. I should tell somebody. I should've told somebody a long time ago. But I didn't and I won't. I want to. But I won't. I want to tell my best friend. The boy who makes me smile. The boy who gives me butterflies. The one person who is most special to me. I want to tell him so bad. I just want to pour my feelings about it to him. But honestly, He's probably the last person I should tell. His reaction would be the worst. His reaction would hurt me. It would hurt to see him be so mad. He would be so angry. Now I know you are all wondering "What the hell is her secret.?!" But I still wont tell you. I want to, but I can't. It's too big of a secret. To serious to just nonchalantly be told. I will tell you, though, that is about my family. Yes, it is about my stepdad. Yes, it's a very big secret. Very big. And know that sometimes the secret gets the best of me. The memory of it is the worst. How I had the chance to tell. I could've told somebody then and there. But I barely knew him. I didn't know he would stay this long. I honestly thought that he would get fed up with us. That he would realize that we aren't healthy for him. That he would get tired of yelling at us and being mean. But he never did. And I wish I had told somebody. I could've prevented all of this. I could have prevented the hurt he has caused. If I just did something about it. You all probably have an idea of my secret now. I won't confirm any of your suspicions. But, please, continue to have an idea of my secret. I do. And I want you guys to think about that. Do you have a secret like that.? If you do, It's okay. We all have those secrets. Don't be so afraid of the secrets. They happen.