The Battle

Chapter 2

Darkness continues to penetrate my vision and I can't move my body. There is an eerie calmness and tranquility in being enveloped by darkness, mind clear of worries and problems. I haven't been this at ease in a long time. I never worried about anything before Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer a year ago. Back then, Dad was kind, jovial, and happy. He would have never thought to solve his problems with drinking, which is what he does now.

Is this how it feels to die? To be set free from the heavy chains of despair, worry, and fear that pull me deeper into an inescapable abyss of dismal darkness?

Then, I hear voices and grumbling. I am still alive, despite my efforts.

I try to open my eyes, but they are screwed shut. I can't move my body either. I can only listen to the muffled voices beside me.

"She's in a coma. All we can do now is wait for her to wake up," I hear an authoritative female voice say.

"If she wakes up," I hear another dubious voice mumble.

"Dad, don't make it worse than what it already is!" I hear a third voice and instantly recognize it as Sebastian's. I hear my father exhale a sharp breath. The slam of a door comes moments after.

Sebastian lets out an exasperated sigh. "Sorry about that, Dr. Lovos. Everyone's just on edge after hearing about Olivia's accident. I knew she ran out of the house, but I didn't expect...this to happen."

The female voice, Dr. Lovos', replies crisply, "You should be thankful that she is still alive, but I don't know when she will wake up or even if she wants to." I hear her heels tap on the hospital floor and the quiet click of the door closing.

I don't want to wake up. I don't want to face my problems or my father for another day. There is nothing in my life worth living for. Nothing. The one thing that mattered to me is gone forever and I couldn't do anything to stop it from happening.

I couldn't stop Mom from leaving me.

Why would anyone care if I die? I have nothing to brag about. I don't have many friends at school. My grades are not exceptional in any way. I'm just an average seventeen-year-old living in Toronto. Hardly anyone would notice if my existence was wiped from this world. I wish the car could've just ended my life instantly so I could start fresh in a new world with Mom.

If I was reborn into a new world, what would I do? What would I hope for? Obviously my new world wouldn't have my father in it. Maybe if he was in it, it would be my "old Dad", the one who cared about my opinion, my values, my actions. Not the one who yells and physically abuses my brother.

Caroline Romes wouldn't be in my new world either. Her sick words wouldn't reach me there. Those memories of her cruel pranks set to embarrass me in front of the school would be erased from my mind and her disgustingly annoying face would be forgotten forever. In my new world, I would be happy, optimistic, and never ostracized. I would be accepted by all.

That's the problem: I would be those things, but they will never be a reality. This is why I am so desperate to leave this world. There is no place here for my existence. Instead of letting go, I'm stuck in this horrible body of mine, neither dying or living, which is the worst place to be in.

"Olive?" I hear my brother whisper my nickname from across the room. "I know you can hear me...somehow. They say people in comas can hear what others are saying to them, even if they are unconscious." I hear him pull up a chair next to me. "I know you were going through some tough times after Mom died. You didn't talk to your friends anymore. You would lock yourself up in your room for hours and every time I passed it, I would hear you crying. You even stopped talking to me at home. Remember when we used to tell each other everything when we were little? Remember when you told me about that big bully at the corner of our street when you were twelve and me, being the big brother, went to beat up that kid? You have to remember that, right? I don't know if you want to wake up, but," he hesitates. "I'll wait for you until you wake up. I'll always stick by you, no matter what happens. I know we sort of lost our sibling connection, but I just wanted you to know that I still...care. You're my little sister, and you always will be."

I hear him stand from his chair and slowly walk from my bed. The door opens and closes and I know I am alone now.

If I could snort, I would right now.

Sebastian would never say those things to a "conscious" Olivia. Even if he did, he would never mean it. He only saves these speeches for his girlfriend, hoping to impress her with his ability to say meaningful words.

When was the last time I heard someone say they cared for me and actually meant it? When was the last time someone actually spoke to me-not order me around or yell at my faults-someone who actually had a decent conversation with me and listened to me. When was I ever valued?

Now's not the time to contemplate about my personal value. Listening to lies really tires me and I want to rest. I always thought people in comas didn't "wake up" and just "slept", but I realize that they do. My body shuts down and I am at peace again.