The Battle

Chapter 5

Today's the day of Finley's surgery and I miss her presence in my room. Since the day she told me about her injury, she has visited me and spent a few hours doing a one-sided conversation with me every day. She's made me feel welcome and accepted, something I haven't felt in a long time. I have grown used to hearing her bare feet echo in my room signalling that she has arrived every morning. It saddens me that I may never hear that echo again.

The door suddenly opens and I hear footsteps advance toward my bed.

Finley? Is that you? How are you feeling? What did the-

"Ow! Tammy, can you stop touching my arm?!"

"Sorry, Sebastian! I forgot! Are you okay, baby?"

Great. My brother's here to visit me again and he brought along his stupid girlfriend. What does he want to say to me now? He is not going to give another speech full of crap about what a great brother he is.

The two of them each pull up a chair beside me. I hear Tammy's concerned voice speak to my brother, "How can you just let your Dad beat you like this?! You're not his punching bag! He doesn't control you and don't have to listen to what he says. You know you can tell me anything." Her voice hardens, "If he's asking for money again, I can give him some-"

"Shut up! This has nothing to do with money. I already gave him enough to last for a few weeks. He's going to hurt Olivia if he doesn't have me as his human punching bag!" Sebastian shouts angrily and bangs his fist on the small table beside my bed.

"But I can't bear seeing you get hurt like this every time I come over!" Tammy begins to sniffle and sob.

What have I been thinking? Sebastian really does care about me. Realization dawns upon me as I remember how I was shield away from watching Dad beat my brother. Every time I saw my father hold something like it was a weapon-a belt, a stick, a cooking utensil-towards me, my brother would stand in front of me and desperately shove me into my room. The next day, my brother would tell me that the screams I heard during the night was the cry of a neighbour's pet or some wild animal and that the bruises and scrapes on his arms were from soccer practise.

Sebastian was speaking the truth when he said he would wait for me to wake up.

All this time, I thought I was alone, that no one cared about me, that the only person who put my well-being above themselves was Mom. I never gave a thought about my brother and deemed him a selfish and uncaring person.

I was wrong. So wrong.

Instead of allowing people to try to help me through Mom's death, I pushed them away. I'm just like those patients who I thought were like Finley when I met her that first day. But Finley doesn't push people away like I do. Finley looks for the slightest spark in the darkness, no matter how deep she needs to go to find it. But me? I pull myself into that darkness without even trying to find the spark.

"Olive, please wake up." My brother takes my hands in his. "Don't leave us. Please."

Is there really hope for someone like me if I wake up? Wouldn't I be faced with the same problems and dilemmas as before?

But it's worth a try.

When I wake up, I'll know that I'm not alone. I have Sebastian and Finley to support me, although they have been with me since the very beginning. I have been a blind fool incapable of seeing the warmth and comfort given to me from the people who love me, freezing their compassion with my cold and selfish heart. But I see through a new lens now, and I'm ready to step into the light.

I don't need to be reborn into a new world to be happy. A new world can't solve my problems. I would just be pushing them out so I won't remember them, but that doesn't mean that they're gone forever. Mom was wrong when she said that letting go would solve your problems. Resolving your inner demons is how you truly become free, and sometimes you can't fight them on your own.

When I wake up, I will throw my Dad into rehab. Sebastian will never be beaten again.

When I wake up, I will help Finley through her recovery from the surgery. I'll do whatever it takes to repay her for the moments of joy she has brought to me during these past few days.

When I wake up, I will win the battle with my inner demons and be free.

For the first time ever, I finally open my eyes to see infinite sparks of light around me. I see my brother with tears in his eyes as he pulls me into a hug. I see Tammy running from my room, calling for the nurse to tell her I have woken up. I've never felt so weightless before with my burdens lifted.

Mom, I've done it.

I've won the battle.