Shattered Wings-Until Dawn (Josh X OC)

Chapter 6

Despite the bit of pleasure, I continued to have this unsettling feel in the pit of my stomach.

'Dammit! Fucking stop! I don't want this! I plead to love Josh. I hate this way of fear inside me. Stop being scared. What is there to be scared of anyway?'

My body began to shift in an uncomfortable matter, as if trying to avoid the man that held me close.

Josh's grip tightened, like he didn't want me to leave his side.

I was finally able to break free and once I did so, I sat on the far end of the sofa, away from Josh.

My eyes glared into his as he stared back into mine.

The end of his lip curled, forming a small smirk...it then faded to a frown, while his view narrowed, studying what was in front of him.

'Did I just upset him? Would it have been better if I were to stay put? Or is it best that we keep our distance?' These worrying thoughts flooded my mind.

Bitting my bottom lip, I glanced ever so often at Josh, who seemed to be concerned about my actions.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked with a puzzled look.

"Oh-um...nothing." I lied.

He leaned forward, closer to me and spoke. "Did I do some-?"

"Are you sure that you wanna stay here in the cabin? You don't want to maybe head back to the lodge where it's safer?" I asked, cutting him off, trying to change the subject.

"Do you not feel safe?"

"I-I don't know...Not really. The wind keeps picking up, making the shutters hit the wall, and I feel alone."

"You're not alone Jaclyn. I'm here for you. Just like you said, you were here for me earlier...We have each other." He said in a sweet tone.

A pause of silence filled the room.

"Or were you lying to me?" His voice suddenly changed to aggressive. "Did you even care? Do you truly understand my suffering like you said? Or was it all a lie Jaclyn?!?" He yelled.

"No. I-!"

"I knew I shouldn't have trusted you! You're just like the rest of the group. Wishing me the worst."

"Josh..."

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" He screamed, covering his ears and closing his eyes tightly, while standing.

I was speechless. My heart tore apart. I just don't fucking know anymore. What's the right thing to do? Would it be better to leave him be or help?

...

I decided to follow my gut and be there for him.

I cling to Josh, who quickly turned around and faced me.

Shocking fear surged all through my body as he took hold of my shoulders and pinned me up against the wall.

"Just stop, okay!?" Josh's voice cracked while his eyes began to tear up. "I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU, JACLYN!!" He nearly bawled.

The touch of his hands on my arms still held me up with my back to the wooden wall.

I really hate to see him like this. It just kills me. All the emotion built up inside him; to watch the tears roll down his red cheeks.

...

Suddenly, I started to franticly speak words that I kept bottled up, never to actually say aloud in person before. "I LOVE YOU! Alright Josh! I'm sorry but the truth is, I honestly have feelings for you. And I do understand your pain. Just please let me help you. I'll do anything to make you better. Please trust me Josh. I really like you!..."

('I knew then and there that what seemed to be rage was the fear of being alone. He wasn't angry at me. He was afraid he'd lose me. He has lost too many people in his life and felt abandoned. All the jumbled up shit in his head forced him to panic and act this way, not on purpose')

Josh's grip on my arms loosened. He leaned in towards me and our lips met.

This moment of Joshua Washington's mouth on mine, blew me away. His warm soft lips pressed gently against mine.
...
The passionate kiss lasted a few seconds and soon departed.