Sunshine Through The Storms

Lovrs.

I think I have fallen again for the boy I have written about in here, but much harder for some reason.

I can't even explain this for some reason; he still sits with me on the bus suprisingly. I find that lovely I guess but I can't seem to fathom what I find so interesting in this boy. Even if it's the simplest arm against arm type of thing, I seem to be intrigued by the way I react mentally to it.

I have a feeling I fall into love easily? Each person I have loved except for this boy has given me anxiety attacks and I called it love. They were broken "loves", but they were quite the adventure if I say so myself. Each person I have supposedly "fallen" for has lead me to this moment, reassuring myself that this boy is probably a person I would like to care for the most. When I see him sometimes, a wave of memories refreshes my mind, reminding me why I chose him, doing the same when i ask myself why am I even friends with him? Then I remember everything and I enjoy smiling to myself because of it.
To me, he is an ineffable person that I could adore all day, even if he isn't the best looking in all honesty.

I read a quote today and it went
"She lit a cigarette with a bundle of tears racing down her cheeks and after her lips found the strength to stretch into a smile, I thought to myself 'sometimes, when chaos burns like wildfires around us: we have no choice but to fall in love with the warmth.'"

It made me think of the situation I was in during my birthday, showing up to the beautiful boys' house in tears to cry on his shoulder. It made me realize how love can be shown in such a "lowkey", twisted way. The sadder part is one will notice because they are caught up in the physical moment, not how to take advantage of the lovely moment itself.

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I don't know if this crap makes sense but if you read it thank you for dealing w/ this pretty mess (; oh and by the way if theres mistakes its bc i made it quicker than usual due to demands (aka nisha) anyway bye