Protection

Uneasy

Nikki's POV:  I still feel like, no matter what I do it isn't good enough. Yes I have Brie who backs me up with certain things, like yesterday when JJ asked where dad was and we told him and he started to cry because he hasn't seen him in months. That broke me inside, our lives shouldn't be this way but yet they are. I hate that I'm living a double life. It certainly isn't like Hannah Montana where she lived a glamours life, mines filled with pain and suffering. I go to school and act like the kid with nothing wrong all is good, but once I get home I become the sad depressed girl I am. Like teachers don't know the life I live at home so when they yell at me for not doing a project or homework it effects me on the inside because no one knows what I am doing at home for me and my siblings. And certainly I can not tell them because then I will be taken from my home and worse my brother and sister. JJ is the one that needs us the most he is to young to do this on his own. It's scares me in 6 years I will be leaving this house along with Brie and JJ will be all alone. Yes he will be older but still he is going to be the same age that I am currently. But I know I'm going far away to college, need a new start and away from all of this that I have to deal with. As of now I'm leaving, Boston and going as far as I can away from here.

6 moths later....

JJ's POV:   For the last few months I have been so confused with what has been going on. My sisters have been the ones who take care of me the most, mommy doesn't even say good night anymore. I also don't know where my dad is. I miss him, especially when he would play outside with me for hours until mom finally called us in for dinner or when it was to dark to even see. Those are the times that I miss. I remember a few nights ago mommy made us all get in the car to drive to some persons house, she didn't knock on the door or go in she just drove by. But she was looking fora car and when Nikki asked who's car she said dads. Why would dads car be there, she always says he's at work. To add to mom taking us on the ride I have asked Nikki and Brie to tell me the truth but they always say the same thing, your to young. I'm not to young. I finally made up an idea since no one else has thought of doing it, I'm going to find dad.

"Nikki, can I go over Jimmy's house?" I come running out of my classroom and ask them right away. This will be the perfect plan if they say yes.

"Sure, as long as his mom said yes." She agreed perfect. Now I can go find him and bring him home.

"We just asked her she said it's ok since it's a Friday. I will see you guys later, love you." I hug them both and run over to Jimmy to make it look like I'm going with him. Once I see them walk home I go the other direction. I walk to the train station, me and dad have taken the train a few times to go to the facility where his work is. Once I hear the stop I get off and see the building and go right in to try and find him.

With Nikki and Brie...

"Brie has Jimmy's mom called asking if we could pick him up?" She asked a little concerned since it is almost 8 o'clock and that is strange that he is not home by now.

"No, I'm gonna call her and ask." I pick up the house phone and dial the number. After a few rings she finally answers. "Hi Mrs. Anderson it's Brie, I was just seeing if you wanted us to pick up JJ?"

"Hi sweetie, I'm sorry but JJ never came to our house. Is everything ok?" When she said that my heart dropped to my stomach. Where can he be?

"Yea, I just got confused I realized he was another friends house today, sorry to bother you. Good night." I hung up quickly and ran to Nikki. We can not make this a big deal or else our mom will freak out on us, especially when she is drunk it is worse. "Nicole we need to go." I said rather stern and she gave me that scared yet concerned look.

"What's going on?" At this point she has a bag and we are walking out the door. We get outside to where it is safe and our mom can't hear me say a word.

"JJ is missing. He never went over Jimmy's house after school. I have this bad feeling going on in my mind." At this point we were both in tears. She fell to the ground and I followed her and held her in my lap. When we finally wiped our faces we decided to figure out who to call. What she said cut me like a knife.

"We have to call dad. He is the one who will most likely not freak out plus maybe he will know where he might have gone." I just close my eyes and nod my head indicating for her to call him.

"Dad, it's Nikki, have you seen JJ? You have him, oh thank god. Can you bring him home right now. Thank you." He just gave us the biggest relief and weight was lifted off our shoulders. We were both sitting on the front porch waiting when they finally pulled up we ran to the car and hugged and kissed JJ a thousand times, I glanced at our dad who was a little upset that we did run and do the same thing to him. When we were younger and he came home from work we would be so excited to hear him pull up that we would race to see who would get to hug him first, it was always Nikki. Her and my dad always had a special bond I can tell that these past few months has really been hard not getting to have that with him anymore. "Thank you for bringing him home, JJ never do that again you scared us a lot." I said to him face to face and I knew I had to be serious with him or else he would think I am kidding and do it again. Than dad started to speak which I have missed hearing his voice.

"No problem girls, I have missed you a lot. How have you both been?" I was about to speak when Nikki quickly replied to his question and it blew me away.

"We have been fine, if you really cared you would come home and be there for us all to know that we have not been fine but we are managing. We have to go now, good bye." She pulls us all into the house. We put JJ right to bed and he quickly falls asleep. We go in our room and I just hold her and comfort her as she cried her eyes out. "You did a good job by speaking the truth Nikki, I'm proud of you. I know there is no way I could have done that. Maybe he will change now that he knows how you feel." She looks at me with tear filled eye and says something that killed me.

"You know how hard that was to do. I miss him so much but the pain he has put me through is so hard and confusing. I don't know if I should take him back or push him further away. I just want everything to be back to the way it was, I miss being happy. These tears are not supposed to be falling for him." She quickly collects herself , gets up and goes to bed without saying another word. I know she isn't ok. I miss the happy, outgoing, fun Nikki that used to fill this house with laughs you would hear for hours. Now it's silent and cold, filled with tears and pain. Something needs to change and soon.