mkay randomness 2

Ugh *RANT/VENT*

Rant/vent

I'm sorry guys but I really need to get this out. If you want to skip this, or just generally don't give a shit, go right ahead, but the people that I know/schoolmates, please listen if you can.

Well I thought that this school year was going to be great, but oh I was so wrong. I have to deal with even more stress, I have to deal with drama, I don't even know if my true friends are true friends, and just general anger/sadness.

I have to do this youth symphony thing for the hell of it, just to actually get better at viola. Now this is where all the advanced string players go because of this evening activity, they get to play with the older kids and are so fucking good. The second I stepped onto the floor in that room, I immediately felt like I didn't belong. We have to cram in 4 hard pieces of sheet music and everyone else knows how to play it, except me. I get looked at weird and it is so embarrassing! I don't wanna go back again on Sunday!

This hell hold (aka School) expects too much from me. I'm already having to stay after school for pointless shit. Also Phy Ed is at it's worst. Don't yell at me because I don't fucking know how to play fucking football. I felt like vomiting the day he gave the goddamn demo. I'm already going and exercising every morning so I can actually lose weight.

Someone is dating so an so, I like someone, they don't like me back, she asks if someone is cheating on her, she likes her but she is dating someone already! I guess I'll be lonely forever considering that nobody would want to date me. Too much drama is happening within the "friend group", and it's getting on my nerves. Half of me feels like it's all my fault, and I'm sorry if it is. My depression issues are slowly creeping up on me again, and makes me feel like if I let myself go again that my "true friends" won't even care. I also have to rethink who my "true friends" are, because I feel like half of them have a negative impact on my life and make me into something that isn't myself. People question my sexuality and it gets on my nerves as well. It's my fucking choice that I like both guys and girls. You can say as much crap as you want, because it ain't gonna get you nowhere!

I literally can't wait for this weekend. I will have at least some time away from school and some people.

I know I'm overreacting, no need to tell me that in the comments or at school tomorrow, because I will just flat out ignore you...