WALKING THE LINE

Chapter 9

ELLIE

The taxi ride home should've sobered me up.

Not that I was drunk as such, because we'd been at Maik's for hours and I'd topped up my earlier beer buzz with a single glass of wine while stuffing my face with the divine food. So technically, I had no excuse for my behavior; first at the restaurant and later in the alley.

Finn was such good company and so easy to talk to I'd found myself blabbing. Telling him little things about myself. Small talk mostly but enough that we'd connected. And he'd listened, appearing enraptured by every stupid word that babbled out of my mouth. Heady stuff for a loner like me, having a sweet guy actually interested in hearing me out.

As for the way I'd jumped him in that alley...I had another two minutes to come to my senses. Change my mind. List every logical reason why we shouldn't have wild, climb-the-walls sex.

But as I locked the back door behind us and reset the alarm, I couldn't think of any.

"Go on. Get it out of your system." Finn trailed a fingertip down my cheek. "Tell me why we shouldn't sleep together."

Unnerved that he could read me so easily, I aimed for levity. "Who said anything about sleep?"

He smiled, the dim hall-light illuminating his teeth. "That's my girl."

Three words to rattle my common sense into reawakening.

I could never be his girl, his or any other guy's. Relationships built expectations and needs, and if those needs couldn't be met...I'd end up alone and shattered. Again.

"I'm not your girl."

I squared my shoulders and dragged in a deep breath. "I'm ten years older than you. I have no interest in anything beyond a one-night stand. And I don't want to discuss this tomorrow. Capish?"

"You're bossy." His fingertip trailed from my cheek to my jawline to the dip between my collarbones. "It's a big turn on."

I rolled my eyes. "Like you need the encouragement. You're just a walking hormone at your age."

Disappointment downturned his mouth as his hand fell away and irrationally I missed his touch. "I've had sex with two women in my life. Lost my virginity at nineteen, then had a relationship with the girl next door for three years."

He dragged a hand through his mussed hair, frustration lacing every word. "It'd be nice if for one second you'd believe I'm not some bullshitting guy out to score while I'm in town. That I think you're incredible. The most incredible woman I've ever met. And that you'd forget about the age difference because it's not relevant when two people share the connection we do."

I stared at him in open-mouthed shock. No guy I'd been with had ever been so blunt, so articulate. It made me flounder even more.

"Dammit, Ellie, I care about you. Why can't you accept that?" He cupped my cheek and despite the urge to run, I finally gave in and rested against his hand.

"I'll try," I whispered, the admission wrenched from deep within, from a deliberately sheltered soul who had given up believing anything that came out of a guy's mouth a long time ago.

He studied me, nerve-rackingly somber. What seemed like an eternity later, he said, "Your place or mine?"

I laughed. At last, a question I could answer unequivocally. "Yours."

I may be willing to let Finn into my heart a tad tonight, but no way was he seeing the real me by entering my apartment.

"Then what are we waiting for?"