We've had this same conversation a thousand times, and each time only hurts more. My chest feels like it's caving in and I can barely breath. No matter what I say I know nothing will turn out right.
"I love you, you love me, it's so simple, why do you have to complicate it so much?"
He has said those words each and every time we talked about this, no answer was ever convincing enough.
Because I love you and I know you deserve better. "I don't know."
"Do I even have a chance?"
Of course you do, I want you so bad, that's the problem. "I don't know."
"Then why are we still here?"
Because once you've had heaven so close, it's hard not to be selfish and want to hold on, even though you are no good for them. "I don't know."
"What now then?"
I guess it's a good thing my goal has never been to make myself happy. "Now we part ways."
I hung up the call before he could say anything. All I heard was his voice cracking- the kind you hear right before someone start's crying- and the tone of the call ending.
That's the sound of my heart shattering. I thought.
Then, all those thoughts all this time that had been pulling me down, pushing on my chest and making me unable to breath, vanished. And once again I felt nothing.
The best kind of nothing.
