Nomads

06

One Month Later

"Desirae this is the third time you've been sick all week, you sure you're alright?" I lifted my head from the toilet, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand in disgust.  I felt as if the room was spinning as sweat ran down my forehead.   I immediately flushed the toilet to discard the remainder of my sickness, before lifting myself off the cold tiled floor.  "You sure you're not..." Christina began, biting her lip as she rubbed her stomach.

"Pregnant?" I started, shaking my head as I try not to laugh.  "Bitch I take my pills every fucking day." I snarled, rinsing my with water before grabbing some mouth wash. In a situation like mine, having a baby was definitely not the answer.  I barely even had time to myself, let alone time to care for another human.  I racked my brain trying to recall the last group of guys I slept with, and remembered it was between three main Canadian born men.

Jahron Brathwaite. Marlon Palmer. Abel Tesfaye. 

"Just cause you take them pills, doesn't mean you won't get pregnant." Christina responded with a serious face, "You're acting like just cause you're taking them pills that's a for sure form of contraception.  You never even protect your ass from STDs if you're not wearing a condom." She then added as I sighed greatly, spitting out the golden Listerine wash from my mouth.  My mouth burned from the awful taste.  Christina's sex ed classes she was trying to give me only made my head hurt twice as much as before.

But anyways, the three men. Jahron, Marlon, and Abel.  I knew Marlon for sure couldn't be the one to get me pregnant due to him always wearing a condom, plus I hadn't started seeing him until three weeks ago, and stopped on the third time.  That was because I had met Jahron.  Jahron was the last person I had sex with, and we had been pretty freaky without a rubber the past couple times, all though he always pulled out.  But then Abel was a for sure candidate for  being this unborn child's father.  The last time I saw him was a month ago, I haven't had my period since and we never used condoms.  "It's Abel's." I murmured, shaking my head as I made my way out the bathroom.  I slumped back onto the couch as I pulled the blanket back onto my body.  "...I can't be pregnant...I barely have my life together for myself, how could I now have a child?" I questioned myself with a sigh. 

I couldn't imagine Abel even wanting a thing to do with this child as well.  We barely even have a relationship, let alone really have interacted on a level that didn't include sex.  On top of that he was an upcoming R&B artist who was soon to go on tour with Partynextdoor and Drake.  Who would really believe a twenty-one year old girl that she could possibly be carrying his child.  It all sounded like an act of publicity.

The thought of everything made me more and more queasy, so I squeezed my eyes shut trying to relax myself as I counted to ten.  But as my breathing began to slow down, my cellphone vibrated on the pillow beside me.  My phone displayed It as an unknown caller from Toronto, but I knew exactly who it had been.  It was Abel, more than likely calling only to fuck me quick before getting back to business. 

"Hello?" I answered rather dryly, not a hint of seductiveness in my voice or anything of the usual.  I knew he had to have noticed since he immediately broke silence before responding.

"You okay? You sound kinda sick.." His voice trailed, sounding as sexy as usual as I caught my breath quickly.  I had missed that voice, that face, everything.  But my feelings fpr him still weren't' as strong as before.  "I haven't even heard from you in  a while since I been in the studio for a min with Aubrey." He added, as I tried not to make a smart remark in response.  His best friend Aubrey had been blowing up Christina's phone since the day they met.  Plus he sure had been fitting time in for her even during studio times, since Christina never fails to come back to me with a new story about her and "Drizzy".

"I'm kinda sick." I responded, not knowing how to come out and pretty much tell him that I was possibly pregnant with his child.  "I haven't been feeling too well lately." I added, beginning to beat around the bush as I wasn't sure exactly how I would be able to tell him.  I felt as If I would feel a whole lot better if I were giving the news to Jahron.  Not only where we a lot closer, but he changed my entire perspective of love and men since the night that I met him.  We've been seeing each other ever since, all though the news of me being pregnant would possibly ruin whatever he planned to begin with me. 

"Don't tell me you're like... pregnant, or something." He sighed, saying the word 'pregnant' in complete disgust.  My heart dropping as I could already feel the conversation taking a turn for the worse.  "I mean, don't you like take pills?" He then asked as I opened my mouth to speak but no words escaped.  "...it can't be mine.." He whispered lowly over the line.  My stomach grew queasy as Abel's comments sounded exactly like what I was expecting, if anything even worse.  I wanted to cry, scream, and shout.  But instead, I tried my best to keep my cool.  "I'm going on tour with Aubrey and Jahron in a couple weeks, so I don't know how this will work Desirae." Abel added.  The sound of Jahron's name made my body tingle just thinking of him.  But hearing that he could possibly not even be around anymore literally sucked.

"So you're pretty much saying that you don't want anything to do with me or this baby?" I asked, tears rushing down my face as I could feel my heart growing heavy.

"Desirae, we knew from the beginning that this was all sex.  Nothing more." He responded, not a hint of despair or even sorrow in his voice.  I felt like a complete idiot as I shook my head, quickly hanging up the phone, not even wanting to hear another word from Abel.  He then called back not even four seconds later, but that didn't stop me from declining with no hesitation.  I finally took a deep breath, as I added Abel to the block list.  A few more foreign numbers reside on the list that I had forgotten and moved on from, and that was exactly what Abel would become.