Not Letting Go - A Bradley Simpson Fan Fic

Be Happy.

*The Next Day*

I trudged down the stairs sighing loudly as I remembered what Brad said last night. 'Press, shows, interviews, fans.' The words spun around and around in my head like wildfire. "For fuck sake..." I mumbled under my breath as my elbows touched the shiny, cold, marble worktop in the kitchen sending goosebumps trailing up my arms but I didn't move. I felt my head become fuzzy and with that I knew today wasn't going to be a good day, great fucking timing immune system. The last thing I needed was a shitty migraine. Come on Lauren. You need to be happy for him, this is a huge deal, he's living his dream. Don't be so fucking selfish! Be happy. Be happy. Be happy. The sound of light footsteps bouncing down the stairs filled my ears, and I almost flinched at the noise. Be happy. Be happy.

"Morning baby girl," Said Brad, God even when I was upset his morning voice still encased me in goosebumps.

"Morning," I said forcing a smile. Happy Lauren.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked. Fucking hell...

"Yeah I'm fine," I replied, my eyes locked on the worktop.

"Lauren?-"

"I said I'm fine Brad!" I snapped. WAY TO BE FUCKING HAPPY!!!! I quickly made my way into he living room and slumped down on the chair, hugging my knees to my chest. As much as I wanted them not to, the tears began streaming out of my eyes, and all I wanted to do was scream.

"L...Lauren?" A soft voice entered my ears, and appeared to fill my stomach with an aching that I recognised as guilt. "Shhh baby girl." Whispered Brad, holding me close to his body, and I could almost hear his heart beating in his chest.

"I'm sorry Brad," I said into his chest before sniffing slightly.

"Shhh, it's okay baby. I've got you. What's happening?" You're leaving. I thought to myself.

"Nothing, nothing I'm okay. I just woke up with a stupid migrane this morning." That's not lying is it? I did wake up with a migrane, and I do feel like shit, but that wasn't why I was crying.

"Stay here, I'll be right back," He whispered standing up and heading into the kitchen. A few moments past before he returned clutching a white fluffy blanket, and on top of it was a DVD and a packet of tablets. "So I brought 21 Jump Street, paracetamol and your favourite blanket. I figured snuggles were in order?" He suggested. I nodded and Brad put in the DVD before sitting down beside me.

"Thank you Brad," I whispered. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too baby girl," He replied, pulling me downwards carefully so that we were laying down together and my hands found their way to the hem of his t-shirt and I fiddled with the material. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't focus on the screen, partly because my head was pounding and partly because I was scared out of my mind and I didn't know how to explain why. There were things I was terrified of, things I just couldn't forget. It was undeniable that I felt safer with Brad, I always have but those memories were engrained in my brain and I was unable to shift them. "Baby, are you okay?" Brad asked, obviously noticing my gaze was locked on the wall rather than the screen.

"What? Yeah. Yeah I'm fine, I just feel kind of dizzy," I said, forcing a weak smile.

"Go to sleep baby, you need your rest." He whispered, brushing my hair behind my ear. I smiled and kissed his cheek gently before nestling my head in his chest and forcing my eyes shut to try to stop my mind reeling senselessly.

***

I awoke to see Brad sleeping peacefully next to me, his chest rising and falling slowly as light snores filled the living room. I loved this boy more than anything in the world, and I knew that this was the life he had chosen, this was his dream, and I had to be happy for him, and I was but...but I couldn't lose Brad. Part of me knows I won't, but another part of me will always fear that I will. I carefully attempted to sit up, and do some of Brad's washing to keep my mind off of things but the second my head left his side it felt like it exploded so I flopped back down on the sofa and sighed as I nestled into him. Brads eyes fluttered open and I gave him a weak smile.

"Hey princess," He said his voice still heavy with sleep which to me was the most adorable things in the world.

"Hey," I said, pushing the hair behind my ear.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, placing a hand on my cheek and brushing it gently with his thumb.

"Like utter crap," I said with a slight laugh as his grip tightened on me.

"What do you need?" Brad asked, shuffling as he began to get up.

"Brad it's okay, you don't need to look after me," I said as I could feel the blood rush to my pail cheeks.

"Lauren it's been almost two months since I got to. I'm going to look after you." He ordered, placing his hand on my arm and squeezing it gently. "What do you need?" He repeated smiling. For some reason I just couldn't contain myself anymore. I cant't act like everything is fine, soon enough Brad will know it's not and if I drag it out any longer he'll be more angry at me for lying to him.

"YOU BRAD." I snapped, instantly feeling guilty as I saw he was taken aback by my sudden action. "I-I just need you." I stuttered as I forced my body upwards and made my way upstairs ignoring the nagging banging inside my head.

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Hey Guys! I really hope you have enjoyed this chapter! Please vote and comment! If you would like me to update again today, comment on this chapter and I'll try to do it for you!

Much Love

Phoebe xxx