This chapter contains lots of self harm and an attempted suicide. Reader discretion is advised.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jinxx
The guys are all still supportive of me and try help me with my depression. Except Ashley, he acts like I'm a plague. Which is understandable given what happened 4 months ago. I both love and hate him cause he's the reason I'm still alive today.
*flashback*
You're just fat and ugly no one likes you really.
I know.
You're a just a stupid faggot.
I know!
The world would be better off without you.
I fucking know! I went to my medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle of NyQuil and my razor. After cutting myself pretty badly, I watched the blood before chugging the entire bottle of NyQuil. I continued cutting exposed skin until I fucking passed out.
The guys won't miss me. There's plenty of other talented guitarist out there to easily replace me with.
*****
I woke to sobbing and hushed voices. Ashley was the one sobbing and the guys said it was because he was the one who found me. God I must have been a bloody mess. They put me in a psych ward under suicide watch. I wasn't allowed to do anything by myself and it felt like an eternity before I was let out.
That was back when I actually wants to die. I wouldn't say I'm suicidal now it's just if someone tried to kill me I wouldn't stop them.
*end flashback*
I looked down at all my scars and burn marks. I'd steal Andy's cigarettes and burn myself when I was alone. Now Jake is heading down this dark path and I have to stop him while his smiles are still genuine.
YOU ARE READING
Sick Little Games || Janxx
FanfictionAm I alive or am I dead? My greatest regrets repeating in my head. Feeling so empty and cold, like a puddle of my own blood in the silhouette of a mold. Wondering if I'll ever be missed, trapped in my own darkness. Lost to the lucidity of my mind. T...
