A Sense of Hope

Chapter Eight: Doing What's Best

The next morning I woke up at 7 o'clock and I found myself laying on David's chest. Last night after I discovered the lacy undergarments I gave David a lecture of how I thought about those. It was embarrassing that I didn't even know these things existed. It felt too sexy for me. I preferred my granny panties instead. But I told him I would try these since he already bought them and I didn't want to make another trip to the store because I hated shopping.

I felt bad about having David buy me things. It made me feel uneasy that I was wasting his money. I wanted to return everything since I felt like I owed him back. I hated having to feel like I was in debt to someone although I have nothing to give back to them. Should I just leave? I bet it'll make things better.

He deserved someone better. Someone who has a good image and background. He needs someone who he could depend on not someone who has nothing. I was not fit to be in his life. We came from two different worlds and I know it'll never work.

I decided to leave. I know I'm being selfish for leaving without telling him but it's the best if he doesn't know since he'll stop me. He's so possessive and overprotective.

I slowly crawled out off his chest and out of the bed. I grabbed a sweater and jacket we bought yesterday, a pair of jeans, and a pair of sneakers. I got dressed and looked to him still sleeping. I brushed my teeth and did my business and went out. Thank god he was a heavy sleeper.

I began to feel guilty. He was so good to me and this was how I was going to repay him. I decided to leave a letter.

Dear Mr. De Luca,

Thank you for everything that you've done for me. These past couple days have been the most happiest days of my life. I'm so sorry that I'm leaving. I think its for the best. Please don't come find me. I hope that you'll find someone that will love you and cherish you forever. Thank you for taking care of me and being so kind to me. I will never forget you and for what you've done for me. Take care.

P.S.

I took an outfit from the clothes we bought. I hope you don't mind.

Love,

Evangeline Heart

My tears fell as I wrote the last of it. It smeared some parts on the letter. I put the letter on the kitchen island hoping that he'll find it there.

I unlocked the door and went out. I walked to the gates and punched in the code that I've seen David punch in. It opened and I walked out. My hear felt heavy like I was making a big mistake. I walked and didn't even glance back once because if I did I knew I would cry.

The morning air was so cold that I could see my breath. I stuffed my hands into the side pockets of the jacket. I didn't know where I was going so I decided to just walk hoping it'll lead me to somewhere. I walked and walked.

At one point when I looked up from staring at my feet while walking I saw that I was in front of the orphanage. It looked the same as it did when I felt. The painting on the orphanage was chipping and the grass was dead all over. It looked like it was about to crumble. I missed the children. I hope they're doing fine.

As I was about to look away, I saw a little girl with blonde looking through the window staring at me. Her name was Emily. She should be 8 by now. She was the most attached to me since she was the smallest one out of everyone. I could see her sadness at her eyes and tears falling from her eyes. My heart broke seeing her. I couldn't take it and turned my head and left with a heavy heart.

My life is crumbling apart. I just wanted everything to end. I wish I could have tried harder in life. Maybe if I did, I could have saved those innocent children. I could have gave them all a better childhood life.

I stopped in front of a beach. The sun was rising. I relished the feeling of the warm sun and sat down on the sand. I listened to the waves as they calmed me. I just sat there for hours and thought about my life and planned out what I needed to do.