Where Do I Belong? [ON HOLD]

Chapter 3

3

I sighed. "Nathan, we need to talk." I had him on his couch next to me with no distractions.

He nodded slowly. "I'm listening."

I took a deep breath to steady myself. "My love life is worse than yours." I won't tell him about where I'm from; not yet.

He snorted. "Yeah, right. I've had and lost twelve girlfriends because of my attitude and actions."

I shook my head. "No, my ex... He..." I wiped the tears from my face. "He was not a nice man."

Nathan leaned forward. "What do you mean?"

My next breath was shaky. "He made me do something I never wanted to do. He took my family away from me and abused me in so many ways."

"Oh, Bella," He leaned in and hugged me tight as I cried on his shoulder. "Let it all out, honey." He can really be nice, if he wants to.

I sniffed and pulled away. My face must be covered in bloody tears. Nathan handed me a wet rag. As I wiped my face, I continued my story. "The next three nights after he took me from my family, I was in so much pain, physical and mental. Everytime I did something wrong, I'd get beaten then used. Every damn time! After being with him for about a month, I turned into this indifferent, soulless shell. He took all of my happiness from me and left nothing but an empty, hollow figure of what I used to be."

"At that time, he had also tried to kill Dustin and A- Topaz. Keep in mind this was all sixteen years ago." I added. "I once thought he had succeeded, but when I found out he was still alive, my joy and liveliness slowly started to come back. Of course, that never stopped his sexual needs. Once a week I was subjected to be his toy of the week. He had six other women who practically bowed at his feet, begging for more. I didn't want it. But Topaz, she had thought that Dustin was dead, so she had tried to kill herself."

"What?!" He was shocked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "But he was able to stop her on time so they could take him down."

"Who is this 'him'? I haven't gotten a good grasp on him. All I see is this pure evil person." Nathan almost hit the nail on the head.

I slowly nodded. "Not only was he evil, he was insane. Every woman he saw, he'd seduce them, and if they didn't fall for him..." I trailed off.

"He'd kill them." He finished and I nodded.

 "He killed them." I sniffed. "Over the course of a year, so many innocent lives were lost, even Topaz's unborn child." His eyes widened but he remained silent. "He went from town to town and collected, in a way, taxes for the people's lives. If they couldn't pay, he'd burn them in their homes until there was nothing left to show the others what will happen if they don't pay." He nodded slowly. "I was forced to stay by his side and perfomr these horrible tasks."

I looked down at my hands. "Nathan," More tears slipped down my face. "I'm a murderer. I killed innocent people!" He didn't say anything. "I have deaths on my hands that I never wanted! I killed them in cold blood! Just so I could live! How can I even be alive now and still have their deaths haunt me?! How can you stand to be close to a murderer?!" I screamed at him. He didn't move a muscle, just sat there.

Finally, he spoke. "I don't belive you're a murderer." I opened my mouth to protest, but he placed his hand over my mouth. "You didn't mean to. In my book, it doesn't count as murder if it was accidental."

I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand. "How can you say that?" I asked, words muffled my his hand.

"Because I've done many things I'm not proud of either, but I've learned to deal with them." He replied. "Now, can I get that nice smile of yours?" He asked teasingly. He removed hiis head and I gave a weak smile. I stiffened when he leane din and kissed my forehead. "I'm going to bed. Feel free to join me when you're ready."