affection

abuse

How. Why. What.

It was currently the end of the day when a certain someone had to force his way back into my life again. Without my consent, of course. He never always listened to me.

So why am I so surprised when he arrived on his red Yamaha motorcycle and had two helmets, one black and one dark grey..

Maybe because I haven't seen him in a while.

I just ignored him, making my way towards the bus stop before he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his arms. He smelled the same, like Dove soap and lilacs. His mother loved lilacs. Like my father did.. I tried not to cry when I just stood there, numbly.

I couldn't reject his hug because I knew that I would only end up crying. And that wouldn't look very good in a high school parking lot. I would probably attract attention, since I'm not a very quiet crier.. According to Jae.

"I missed you," he said softly, his voice gentle and soothing. He made me feel like I was 14 years old again. He made me feel like I was a small child. He made me feel safe and secure, from his taller height to his tight hug. I just wanted to be engulfed by him. He was my savior.

But things don't always work out that way. I still didn't forgive him for what he had done. Leaving me without saying a decent good-bye. Leaving me when both of our parents had passed away due to a car accident from going back home from a party.

It was my birthday. April 19th, 2012, when he had left. He didn't warn me or even dared to tell me about his departure.

I didn't even figure out that he was leaving until the day of. He would always give me k-pop albums or merch because my parents were often too busy with work and rarely came to see my siblings and I.

Being the eldest, I had to take charge and took care of my younger siblings as if they were my own children. That being said, I was basically their babysitter.

There were no servants in our house. Although we had a pretty big house, my mum didn't want anyone strange going inside the house, so I had to learn how to cook and clean by myself.

I learned a lot of things by myself. And that was the way that I had liked learning anyways. I didn't really like socializing with my peers because I thought that they were too immature for my taste and rude.. So I stuck with Jae the entire school year.

It didn't matter if we had different classes. We were practically inseparable. And the rumors began to start about how we were dating.

Which eventually lead up to this..

* * * *

"Aika?"

"Hm?" I was currently working on my History project in the middle of December while listening to Exo.

He poked the side of my waist, getting my attention quickly since that was my weak spot(for tickling). I pulled off the headphones and pouted. "What is it, Jae?"

"I just needed to ask you something."

"Go ahead then."

"There's.... I mean, my friend got asked out by this girl and he thinks that this girl could mean a lot of trouble... And he also really likes this other girl who's his friend.. So he doesn't know what do to..." Jae said, sighing dramatically.

I laughed at his sigh, shaking my head as I hummed the lyrics. "Then he should tell the other girl that he likes her and then tell the girl that likes him to back off," I stated simply.

"Thank you, Aika!!" He grinned before squeezing me tightly.

I gasped slightly. "Can't breathe."

He reluctantly let go. "Really, thank you." His eyes were bright, making my heart thump slightly as my cheeks heat up.

"No problem," I muttered, trying to control my heartbeat while focusing on my History project.

* * *

How can I deal with your abuse to my heart?